#MarchDadness – Tournament of Dads – Voting Now Open
There’s been a lot of great dads throughout history. Starting with God all the way up to your boy KFC…lotta guys out there have procreated over the years. This March…we crown the greatest. We broke it down into 4 regions – TV, Movies, Cartoon, and Real Life. We also went with 32 instead of 64. While this resulted in some big snubs in the TV region, its better than trying to stretch out cartoons and real life into 16 seed regions. Lets break down the highlights of the first round matchups:
1. Antonio Cromartie vs 8 Brad Pitt – The Battle of the Bastards! Its Biological Warfare vs Artificial Warfare. 2 of the most prolific fathers on the planet – Antonio the natural method, 12 kids by like 9 women. Brad Pitt, the Adoption King. Got a whole fucking slew of Africans at his house. Its strength in numbers for this first round battle.
4. God vs 5. Joseph of Nazareth – The Custody Battle. God WAY overrated in my opinion. Big time absentee father. Wasnt even on the planet with Jesus. Then he just let him get murdered. Straight up nailed to a cross and tortured. Not a great example of parenting if you ask me. Meanwhile Joseph has gotta be the greatest step dad of all time. He’s sort of a pussy and totally got cucked, but he raised the SHIT out of Jesus. He raised arguably the most important person to ever walk the earth. I know my pick.
4. George Jetson vs Fred Flinstone – Old vs New. Once and for all we answer the age old question. George or Fred? Jetsons or Flintstones?
3. Coach Taylor vs 6 Tim The Tool Man Taylor – The Showdown of the Taylors. Most people put Coach Taylor on a pedestal because they loved Friday Night Lights. Which is just silly. Dude was a trash dad. Football always came first. Julie Taylor grew up to be a reckless annoying slut. Gracie Bell wasnt even a human I dont think. Meanwhile Tim The Tool Man Taylor kinda hated his family too. You know he just wanted to be left alone in the garage. Maybe fool around with Heidi on set. This first round matchup highlights two guys who probably hate being dads.
4. Mrs. Doubtfire vs 5. Peter Banning – Robin Williams vs Himself as the more desperate character trying to win his kids back. Disguised as an old woman or masquerading as Peter Pan. RIP in Peace to Robbie Wil.
2. Archie Manning vs 7. Lavar Ball – The First Family of the NFL vs the new First Family of The NBA. Archie has several Super Bowls to the Manning family name, Lavar has BBB hats on sale for $100. It should come down to the wire.
Sleeper Picks: The Dad From American Pie – This is arguably the most supportive dad in history. Watched his son fuck a pie and still just stood by his side and helped him through it. Tried to always get him laid. Just a really great, supportive father through thick and thin.
John Q – I’M NOT GONNA BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME! Dont be surprised if he wins it all.
A LOT to dig into in this tourney. Follow @PodfathersShow for voting. First round voting happens today, new bracket with winners our tomorrow.