Eli Manning Vehemently Denied That He Did Anything Wrong In This Nonsensical Memorabilia Scandal

Whoa. Powerful stuff out of Big Blue’s fearless leader. Watching that video is like having a dad that is usually pretty level-headed show emotion for the first time ever. I saw people saying Eli was angry, but I don’t think that’s right. Upset is more the word. Upset he has given this city more than a decade of solid QB play while also being no-frills off the field. Basically the model citizen for a New York sports landscape filled with losing and assholes over the years. Oh yeah and Eli is the reigning NFL Man of the Year. Funny how none of the #haterz have mentioned that while discussing a case that is THREE YEARS OLD. I don’t think KFC was even married three years ago. Now he has a wife, a house, and a kid (with another on the way).

Anyway, back to Eli. I honestly didn’t even know he had that in him. I always thought Eli had the same facial expression whether he saw his child being born or he stubbed his toe.

There was Happy Eli:


Angry Eli:


Sad Eli:


and Surprised Eli:


Instead it turns out Eli isn’t a robot and has emotions. Personally I think Eli could have just gone with the Danny Boy Cane “It’s GARBAGE, it’s RUBBISH, and it’s NOT TRUE!” and been fine. But I guess all the haters (of which, sadly, there are many) finally ticked him off to the point he had to respond. And when Hurricane Eli runs train on the NFL this year, the other 31 teams will have nobody to blame except this weirdo that wants another man’s sweaty AUTHENTIC GAME USED equipment.


P.S. The worst part of this story is that the word “Memorabilia” is at the center of everything. I would say I am a solid 9/10 when it comes to spelling. I feel like I could give KMarko a run for his Spelling Bee crown. But “Memorabilia” has long been my Achilles Heel (spelt Achilles right first try, nbd).

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