Cuncel Da Saeson
I got a buddy who’s borderline illiterate and a big time Indians fan. Few years back when the Tribe traded Sabathia to the Brewers he tried to send out a mass text to his buddies saying “Cancel the Season” and what came out was “Cuncel Da Saeson.” And ever since that day in my crew any time one of your teams had that single moment where you knew all hope was lost, the appropriate response was “cuncel da saeson.”
Welp, last nite the Mets were cunceled, folks. On Monday I said that by August 15th this team’s fate would be decided. They didn’t even make it 72 hours before proving where they were headed. After getting blanked in a lifeless loss Monday, I was ready to call it. But I held off, thinking one game wasn’t make or break. Then Franceour pulls some heroics out of his ass Tuesday night and somehow the Mets are still unbelievably alive for 24 more hours.
And then last nite’s game happened. What an unmitigated disaster that was. I’ve seen third trimester abortions go better than this game. I didn’t get a chance to check the box score but I’m pretty sure the Mets had 30 errors last nite. Jose Reyes apparently thought he was throwing the ball from fuckin outer space and airmailed his throws all over the place. David Wright made a throwing error (surprise, surprise) Ike Davis made a fielding error, Pelfrey sucked and Jerry must have been fucking drunk deciding to leave him in. Could very well be the worst all around game I’ve seen the Mets play in a long fucking time. 108 games into the season, biggest games of the year, and the Mets look like a bunch of blind retards out there.
Not counting last year with all their injuries, this is the earliest I’ve ever cunceled the Mets. They’ve got an entire 1/3 of the season to go which is obviously more than enough time to do anything in Major League Baseball. But its not the number of games out of playoff contention, but more the manner in which they lost these two games against the Braves. The first game they rolled over and gave up and tonite, in a game which every single person knew was the most important so far of this season, they shit all over the diamond and handed the Braves a W. Seriously it would have been more effective if everyone on the field took off their pants and took a dump on the field.
When the season started I said this team was no more than a .500 ball club. But when they reached their highwater mark 11 games over I really thought they proved they were better than that. For sure not. August 4th, the Mets fall back to 54-54.
Cuncel Da Saeson.