I gotta address a growing concern of mine with you commenters. I figure this Friday post will be where I
heir my grievances air my grievances (I flew to close to the sun with that euphemism and totally butchered it) with you. Two things 1) calling people a hardo has jumped the shark. Literally everything someone says or does some Stoolies will call them a hardo. Calling people hardo is the new hardo. You care so much about what I say or do that you get fired up enough to login and call me a hardo. No bro. You’re the hardo. And now we’re into some sort of hardo within a hardo inception shit. Stupid.
2) The term “trolling” gets thrown around by you idiots way to casually too. When I say something that you disagree with, thats not trolling. I say I don’t think people should be sucking the Blackhawk’s dick because they’ve lost 3 times during their “streak” and now all the sudden I’m “trolling for comments.” Yea, because 50 comments instead of 30 really makes a difference to me. Its not trolling if I say I hate the NHL and the hockey hipsters love it. Now when I write blogs saying the Patriots and the Yankees are shitty organizations because they don’t win championships – those are “troll” blog. Thats when I’m just stirring the pot. But you can’t call me a troll just because I say something you don’t agree with. You’re the trolls. Hardos.
Now lets get to the comments! There was a lot that I thought were funny this week.
8. First ever female commenter to make the cut! Blog: Lauren Silberman – The First Female To Tryout At NFL Combine – Sets Women’s Athletics Back 200 Years. Commenter: Anon333 - “SHE HAD A QUADRICEPS INJURY. its not because she was a girl, it was because she injured her fucking leg. She went to U wisconsin then MIT, this woman has her life together and having fun trying new things in life unlike you creeps online anonymously making fun of a girl who now has an injury.” Welcome to the zoo, toots! I stalked her out to make sure it was a chick. A) You have gotta be a fucking lunatic to join the Barstool Commenters as a female B) You’re a certifiable idiot if you think Lauren Silberman’s tryout failed because she was injured. And you cant join the comments world and then bash everyone saying they are anonymous creeps. Because now you’re the anonymous creep. Its like the hardo thing. Also, fuck you! You’re a chick you don’t know anything about sports!
7.Blog: 7 Year Old In Trouble For Chewing His Pop Tart Into A Gun. Commenter: Woogie Boogie: “unfrosted pop tarts are like thick chicks. you’ll settle if you’re drunk but no one really loves them” Bill Shakespeare himself couldn’t have come up with a better simile.
6. Blog: Guess That Ass – Andrea Rincon
Commenter- Himself: “You’d think a girl spreading her butt so you can see where her shit comes from would be disgusting and completely off-putting. Nope, opposite effect.” The Casting Couch effect. Reach back and spread your cheeks. Should be gross. Its just not. Nailed it.
5. Blog: Brooklyn Man Fakes Kidnapping To Get Out Of Trouble With His Girlfriend. Commenter: mjp243 – “there’s pluses and minuses to women: the minuses are that they’re needy, annoying, complain all the fucking time, nag the shit outta their man for no apparent reason on a semi-daily basis, aren’t funny, have no concept of how shit works or how much things cost, don’t have a clue about things going on in the world, can be happy/sad/angry/elated all at the same time and watch the worst fucking garbage shows on television. the pluses are that they let you have sex with them…sometimes.” MJP243 just summed up life in one long ass run on sentence.
4. Blog: Could You Spend 501 Days With Your Spouse In A Space Capsule? Its a tie for 2 comments:
Commenter – Redrum: “My girlfriend would still find a way to blame me for cheating on her”
Commenter – Phil Alto: “501 days to convince my wife to do anal.” Both hold true. Whether you’re on earth or in space, girls will be jealous and paranoid, and guys will want to have butt sex. From here to the end of the universe these 2 will always hold true.
3. Blog: I Need These Boxers That Cool Your Balls And I Need Them Immediately. Another tie.
Commenter – nuts4butts: “It is just a complete disaster in my pants at all hours of the day” Stoolies just fucking you up with truth this week. My undercarriage is a biohazard like 45 seconds after getting out of the shower and it stays that way until the next shower.
Commenter – theprodigy22 “No matter what the month/season is or where I am, swamp ass follows me like those rain clouds in cartoons.” Like the Pig Pen of Swamp ass. Great imagery.
2. Blog: Scientists Say Beer Goggles Is A Myth. Commenter: Tornopen – “Here is the reality, banging fat ugly broads is fun. You can kind of do whatever you want, they are just so grateful a man is inside them. You can smack it, flip it sideway, throw in a fist, whatever… it’s like a bouncy house of sex. However, none of us want our friends to make fun of us, so we purposely get drunk enough to have that excuse in our back pocket.” Preach! You show me a guy who says he doesn’t have fun fucking a fat girl and I’ll show you a liar. I wish the whole world could just agree to not make fun of each other for fucking fat girls and then we could all just have so much more fun with life. Instead we keep up this “I was so drunk” facade. Cant we just all call a truce and get our rocks off? Bouncy House of Sex is an UNREAL term.
1. Blog: Top 5 Best College Basketball Names Ever. Commenter: BigTizzle – “How about Kieth Duany Duany from that Carmelo Cuse team. The guy was literally a black crayon” If you remember Kueth Duany and how dark he was, this is absolutely the funniest comment of the week:
Looks like someone dipped a black crayon in tar. Looks like a human sized black pen exploded all over him. Unreal how black he was.