Me and Justin Bieber Are Best Friends Now, No Big Deal
@BarstoolTrent frozen pizza is good
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) April 8, 2014
And with those four simple words a chubby-faced blogger from Cedar Rapids cuckholded the one and only El Pres worse than he’s ever been cuckholded before. Just talking pizza with the self-proclaimed pizza mogul’s biggest crush behind his back. It felt a little wrong and I loved every second of it. I love frozen pizza. The Biebs loves frozen pizza. A match made in heaven when you think about it. It’s that simple. No big deal. I’m just best friends with one of the most famous people on the planet now. It won’t change me. You think he’ll give me a go around with Selena? Judging from that deposition video you’d say definitely no but what you peasants don’t understand is that I’m part of his inner circle now. Anything can happen. I don’t even know what doors are gonna open for me now. Girls, cars, mansions, cool stuff only rich famous people know about, etc. But what I’m most excited to do is play sub par basketball with Justin and then mean mug the fuck out of a camera. Did Iowa do it again or did Iowa do it again?
PS- I was jealous of this photo earlier but my life has changed drastically since then. Feels like a life time ago. I’m in a different tax bracket now.
— David Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) April 7, 2014