I'm Gonna See The Shit Outta This "The Jungle Book" Movie Where Scarlett Johansson Plays A Snake

A little known fact about me: I fucking love The Jungle Book.  It was my favorite movie growing up.  I’d watch it every single day and throw a hellacious temper tantrum if my Mom told me I couldn’t watch it.  Mowgli was my dude. Baloo was my home boy.  I’d walk around the house singing the Bare Necessities at the top of my lungs from sun up to sun down. And now here they are making a new version of The Jungle Book.  I didn’t even know this was happening.  Caught me totally off guard and vulnerable.  What a pleasant surprise on a random Tuesday.  I must say, this latest version looks a tad more ominous than the VHS tape I used to watch on a daily basis but I’m still gonna see the shit out of it.  I’m a grown up.  I panhandle it. Scarlett Johansson as a snake? Done.  Count me in.  All star cast and it’s directed by Jon Favreau?  Even more done.  The part at the end of the trailer where Baloo was humming the Bare Necessities game me literal goose bumps.  Let’s fucking go.  No, really. Come with me. It’s gonna be impossible to find somebody to go to this movie with me.  I’ll pay for the popcorn .

Sing that shit, Baloo!