AdWeek- Taco Bell is calling McDonald’s a disgusting communist pig, but McDonald’s doesn’t care, because McDonald’s still has the Big Mac. And now, the Big Mac is getting its very first lifestyle collection of merchandise for those who want something a little more meaty than what Martha Stewart can deliver. The collection—which includes everything from clothing to wallpaper to bed sheets, all emblazoned with images of the chain’s signature sandwich—was launched Tuesday at a “McWalk” fashion show in Stockholm, Sweden. (It follows the success of Big Mac thermal underwear—at the time, a one-off product that McDonald’s Sweden made as part of its sponsorship of the Swedish Alpine and Cross Country Ski Team.) If you’re so inclined, you can order this stuff at bigmacshop.se.
I guess this is real. It passed all of my blogger tests that I do to determine if something is fake or not (basically a 4 second Google search to see if it pops up. Journalism). Listen, I’m not a fashionable person. That probably shocks you but I’m just not. It’s a miracle I can even dress myself in the morning. It’s an even bigger miracle that there was a point in time where I had to dress myself each and everyday and then be presentable in public. I was once out there. Going to a cube farm, going to meetings, going for drinks with my co-workers. All that shit. Wearing polos and shit. I look back on that and I have no idea how I did it. I’m sure I looked like shit and I still do. I have a weird shaped body. Any item of clothing I put on is like trying to fit a sandwich bag over a cinder block. That’s not to say I’m solid like rock, I’m just impossibly shaped.
BUT with all of that said, if you leave the house wearing any item of fashion that has a Big Mac on it you’ve officially given up on life. You’ve succumbed to the world of fast food and you’re letting everyone know, “Hey, I quit” It’s as close as a person can get to suicide without actually committing suicide. You’re dead but you’re just not all the way dead yet. The minute you put on a Big Mac sweatshirt or shirt or boots, you’ve checked out completely. That’s a fact.
PS- Them launching this fashion line anywhere but America was the biggest mistake they’ve ever made. Ummmm obesity rate, you ever heard of it? We’re kind of the king of that shit here. If there’s a group of people who are gonna want to wear Big Mac clothes, it’s Americans.