Add Robert Pattinson To The List Of White Guys Who Don't Know How To Dance At A Concert

Listen up, Robby Patts (that’s what I call him).  Don’t feel bad.  That’s a looooooooong list we’re talking about.  Being a white guy and dancing at a concert is IMPOSSIBLE.  We are completely out of our element in that space.  White guys have been going to concerts for centuries and we still can’t figure it out.  Do I lean back and forth?  Do I alternate my weight on one foot then the other?  Or do I just stand here and try to act cool even though I just wanna do some dancing?  The best course of action is to just stand there.  It sucks but it’s the only way to look less like an idiot.  It’s even more impossible when it’s a hip hop concert.  Good fucking luck looking like anything but an awkward white boy reaching for any scrap of rhythm while all the black dudes do cool dance moves you’ve never even heard of.  He’s at a Drake concert.  White guys walk into a hip hop concert and we all turn into Elaine Benes’s the second the music starts. It’s a losing battle.

PS- I see Robby Patts is smoking weed like that’s gonna help.  It might help you forget that you’re a white boy at a hip hop concert who can’t dance but everybody else still knows you’re a white boy at a hip hop concert who can’t dance.