Time – Jon Snow may know nothing—but Kit Harington, the actor who plays him on Game of Thrones, had some thought-provoking insights into the way the media objectifies male actors. “To always be put on a pedestal as a hunk is slightly demeaning,” Harington told Page SixMonday. “It really is and it’s in the same way as it is for women. When an actor is seen only for her physical beauty it can be quite offensive.”“It’s not just men that can be inappropriate sexually; women can as well. I’m in a successful TV show in a kind of leading man way, and it can sometimes feel like your art is being put to one side for your sex appeal. And I don’t like that,” Harington continued. “In this position, you get asked a lot, ‘Do you like being a heartthrob? Do you like being a hunk?’ Well, my answer is, ‘That’s not what I got into it for.’”
Hey Jon Snow fuck off bro. Oh wah, wah, chicks want to bang me, wah, wah. What a horrible life. Newsflash dude if you didn’t look like you did you wouldn’t be playing Jon Snow. Serioulsy how’d you like to be Sam Tarly listening to this shit? Jon Snow whining about how unfair it is that he’s so fucking handsome? How all the Wildling sluts can’t keep their hands off him. Meanwhile Sam has to date some ugly bitch who has a kid with her dad. Seriously I’d take that dragon glass and stab him right in his gorgeous heart with it. Nobody likes pretty people who complain about how hard it is to be beautiful.
Oh yeah, let’s do this quick interview on TV, no way the rest of the world will see it right?
So I have a question. How many gay weddings in the middle of Indiana were getting catered by Memories Pizza to begin with? Seems like you could have just let this one slide guys. Maybe don’t say out loud that you aren’t doing gay weddings anymore and give hackers a perfect reason to redirect your website to GayBearFinder? I don’t write blogs for the elderly or people in India but I also don’t have to say that out loud. Who knows, maybe I’m out of the loop here but this guy saying gays choose to be gay and he chooses to be straight and doesn’t want to be bothered doesn’t exactly scream “Gay Wedding Caterer” to me. I didn’t look at him and think whoa, he’s basically Nathan Lane in Modern Family.
Also, I’ve only loosely followed the news on this because I hate all politics in general. Don’t really care what side of the aisle it is, but how is this even remotely legal? I feel like this law is all one big joke right? You can’t just stop serving people because of religious beliefs or sexual orientation? What the hell is that?
Facebook site is safe, so phew on that one. Sure their web presence drives in TONS of business.
If your reaction is “Um, what?” that’s pretty much ours, too.
Exploding head syndrome is a “psychological phenomenon in which (people) are awakened by abrupt loud noises, even the sensation of an explosion in their head,” according to a report in the WSU News. And it’s more common than researchers had thought, according to a study done by Brian Sharpless, an assistant professor and director of the university psychology clinic at Washington State University in Pullman, Wash.
His research, published in the Journal of Sleep Research, found that nearly one in five — 18% — of college students interviewed said they had experienced it at least once.
It tends to happen while going to sleep and is mostly harmless, but pretty scary if it’s happening to you. And, according to the study, it can result in clinical consequences such as feelings of distress and/or impairment. The study recommends more research should be done.
Ummm look scientists not to tell you how to do your job or anything, but was there really no other term you could call this condition? Just had to settle on Exploding Head Syndrome? I mean I can read. I looked over all the information and I know that this is basically just intense headaches and hearing things briefly. But you’ve heard of the internet right? You have some sort of grasp of how information spreads these days? It’s all blog posts and 140 character Twitter blurbs. Nobody opens that shit up, they just digest what they see and move on to the next thing in their feed or timeline. Seriously look at my headline up there. I’m going to tweet this link out and 18% of my followers are going to shit themselves and pass out thinking their head is going to literally explode at some point soon. Is that irresponsible of me, yes, but you named it that, so it’s on you. I’m the one fighting for clicks here not you.]]>
Well, technically the fight didn’t end until the total piece of trash got in a couple more shots on a lifeless body, but still. The bell could have rung when red hoodie suplexed himself into a coma.
I suppose the teachers were standing on the outskirts with money waiting on the outcome? Christ. A chair-less Stephen Hawking hopped up on quaaludes would have a quicker response time. And you know brawls happen all the time in this place when your average white girl walks by the action without even blinking twice. A solid public school education right there.
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I’ve never pretended to be a genius. I know I’m an average guy when it comes to intelligence. But I’ve been through a lot of education. 2 degrees. SATs and SAT IIs and GMAT tests and like 2 decades of schooling. Yet there is still a LOT of shit in this world that I dont understand. Gravity. Outer space. Anything related to electricity. How people make underwater tunnels. How Shazam can tell me what song I’m listening too. Where the internet comes from. Theres a LOT of stuff I dont understand about the moon. So today’s MailTime is all the stuff I just can’t wrap my brain around. Things that I can google and read words that explain whats happening but still are way beyond my brain’s comprehension.
And if you’re on your high horse today and think you’re some kind of Einstein, feel free to try to actually explain to me whats happening. Dont just throw around some scientific words and think that counts. You think your so smart, tell me whats really happening.
We also talk about April Fools in the cubes, the Justin Bieber roast and more. Hot dogs, grill, spicy mustard, lets go.
PS – I acknowledge that the thing with the sun and the moon at the same time is truly idiotic. That one is on me. I’m dumb for that.]]>
Here’s something you learn if you’ve ever lived in a college town for more than 3 weeks: Longboarding is dangerous. I can’t tell you how many times I saw a hippy-looking dude with long hair and a tight-fititng t-shirt biff it in the middle of the street on a longboard. Happens all the time. I get it. Longboards look super cool and, if you get good enough at it, you can take it any where everywhere. Chicks dig it. But a life rule that I’ve lived by for awhile now is never get on anything with wheels that can tripped up by a crack in the pavement. Car? Good to go. Motorcycle? That’s fine. Bike? Ehhhhh we’re getting closer to a no. Longboards and skateboards? Fuck that. That’s scraped up knees and elbows waiting to happen. Oh, and try and avoid deers when you’re on a longboard too. Because if you don’t, you’re gonna eat a face full of asphalt and turn a deer into Tony Hawk at the X Games.
Live look at the St. Louis Blues reacting to the news…
Fantastic news. When the Hawks announced that Kane would be gone for 12 weeks they were obviously being overly cautious. They didn’t want a Derrick Rose situation where the media was hounding them every day with questions about whether or not he was medically cleared, when he’s coming back, blah blah blah. Now Kane is skating with the team and it’s becoming more clear that he will return earlier than the Conference Finals. The Hawks are playing well at the moment and the best offensive player in the league is getting closer to rejoining the team. The Western Conference better stay woke.
PS: Just as a reminder, Kane can’t come back during the regular season because the trades made at the deadline were only possible because Kane’s salary was moved to Long-Term Injury Reserve. Earliest return would be Game 1 of the first round which is 2 weeks from today.
Few things here. First of all, the lady saying it’s not discriminatory they just hate gays was laugh out loud funny. “No, no it’s got nothing to do with discrimination. We just don’t serve that kind here.” Second of all, pretty cocky to think that a gay couple is catering their wedding with fucking Memories Pizza. Gay weddings are lavish affairs. It’s two people planning a wedding who both very much care about the presentation and extravagance of it. You think they’re serving a 16 inch pie per table you’re outside of your fucking mind. Refusing to cater gay weddings? You also gonna refuse to cater the wedding for the Royal family? They don’t give a fuck about your shitty large cheese, you self-righteous fucks. And finally, don’t piss off the gay community because they’ll Yelp rape your ass. A business saying they’re too religious for gay people in 2015 is just a more PC way of saying “Please post every gaypic you’ve got on our Yelp page.”
A love me a good foreign play-by-play call. This is one. A good announcer can make or break a call. Gus Johnson is the master of it. Jim Ross made WWE what it was with his amazing BAH GAWD calls. And this Finnish dude is already a legend in my books. The heart, the passion, the shrieking. The whole package. Who was that jabroni who was doing last year’s MLB playoffs who would basically whisper the whole time and showed no emotion? That was fucking awful. This guy should learn English and come over and put some excitement back into baseball.]]>
Daily Mail – Whether it’s from a university or a new employer, we all know that horrible, deflated feeling that comes with getting a rejection letter. But 17-year-old Siobhan O’Dell hit back after being sent a rejection letter from Duke University, by sending the admissions office a message of her own, rejecting their rejection.
The teenager, from North Carolina, had applied to the prestigious college in her home state, but on March 26 she was sent a letter telling her she had failed to make the grade.
However, refusing to take no for an answer, she wrote back, saying: ‘After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me admission into the Fall 2015 freshman class at Duke.
Speaking to MailOnline about the letter, she said: ‘They sent me a typical college rejection letter, “This year we had an outstanding pool of applicants…”, blah, blah, blah.
‘It made me realize how much power universities have over students. Seniors labor over applications, stress over waiting, and sometimes cry over the answer. Then that’s it.
‘The college has all the power. But what if that wasn’t it? What if we got to treat the college like they treated us? I wanted to give them a taste of their own medicine.’
Duke did eventually respond to her rejection letter, but didn’t appear to share the joke, instead telling her that should could appeal their decision, but ‘it’s very rare’ for the call to be overturned.
However Miss O’Dell, who also goes by her middle name of Reece, has no need for an appeal after being awarded a place at the University of Southern California. She said: ‘I’m going to major in biology and minor in mathematics. My goal is to be a pediatrician. I look forward to going to USC this fall.’
Ok this was pretty funny, it was a clever idea and it was great for going a little viral. If Siobhan just stopped there and said she was just joking around and wanted to get some retweets everything would be great. But let’s chill out with the self-importance a little bit. It’s not like Duke had a courier bring this to you then spit on you and punch you in your face. It’s not like they put your application up on the Duke Instagram and said LOL look at this idiot’s SAT score! They sent you a standard rejection letter. You didn’t get in. Sorry, it happens. What do you want them to admit everyone? Anyone who applies to Duke just come on in and grab a seat in lecture?
And to be clear, this didn’t get “revenge” on anyone. It didn’t give Duke “a taste of their own medicine.” I mean you’re rejected from Duke still. They’re not letting you in. Just enjoy the Tumblr pageviews and get ready to have a blast at USC.
PS – And how lame is Duke with this response by the way? Would it kill you guys to play along and be funny or something?
And the answer is Kylie Rae. Any smoke of this caliber who still takes pictures with boxes of Dominos is A-OK in my book. Wanna split some cheesy bread and a medium thin crust bacon pie babe? lmk.
And the answer is Sophia Miacova. Dang so many hot bitches just flaunting their shit all over Instagram. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be good looking and actually have a shot with girls like this. Must be nice.
THAT. WAS. AWESOME. You can see where his brain stopped too. Right here.
“Oh shit, what do I do? Do I bail and hit this wall? Do I get back on and hope for the best?” And then bam, caught right in between. Guy looked like John Elway in the Super Bowl against the Packers. Helicopter City. And there is your life lesson. If you’re going to do something, commit, “no half measures” -Mike Ehrmantraut/This Jockey going forward.
Oh and don’t worry, he and the horse both walked away perfectly fine.
And the answer is Nikki Leigh. Playmate / Radio host / TV host. We all could use a few more slashes on our resume.
The thirst is always real for new material from Makonnen and today OVO weirdo is keeping everyone hydrated with the fifth installment of his “Drink More Water” series.
Listen to the rest of “Drink More Water 5″
TMZ- Bad news/good news for Tyga — he got served with legal papers during his big sneaker unveiling Tuesday night, but the guy who served him bought two pair! Tyga was hit while revealing his new kicks for L.A. Gear at Shiekh Shoes in Hollywood. You gotta give the process server credit … he stood in line for more than two hours, bought two pairs of kicks at $120 a pop, had them autographed … and that’s when he hit Tyga with the papers. To add insult to injury … the guy even got a pic with Tyga! The process server wouldn’t get into what the papers were for, just saying that apparently Tyga owes someone money.
SERVED! That’s too damn funny. That’s also a man who knows how to do his job and knows how to do it well. What a goddamn legend. The Michael Jordan of process servers. Right up there with Dale Denton. The best part is the dude waited in line for two hours and even bought a couple pairs of shoes. Just another day at the office I guess. Wait in line at a rapper’s shoe release party, buy some kicks, serve him court papers and snap a pic with him. Peace out. The process server seems like a cool guy actually. All he’s doing is his job. Tyga the rapper was like, “What the fuck? Are you serious?” He didn’t even know what hit him. Smooth as butter.
PS- In the title, could I have put “Tyga Gets Handed Court Papers……” and people would know who he is? I wasn’t sure. That could be me showing my age and not knowing current rappers but the only thing I know him for is he’s kinda sorta Kylie Jenner’s boyfriend. He also might be a Cash Money guy? Fuck I’m old. Anyway, all that didn’t seem like enough notoriety where people would know who he was if his name were in the title. Oh well. Good talk. See you out there.]]>
Page 6 – Santa Fe police say a man tossed a banana peel at Dave Chappelle during a show, hitting the comedian in the leg. Police Lt. Andrea Dobyns says 30-year-old Christian Englander of Santa Fe was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor disorderly conduct and battery after the fruit throw Monday night at the Lensic Performing Arts Center in the northern New Mexico city. Dobyns says Englander acknowledged throwing a peel from a banana he had eaten earlier because he took offense to jokes Chappelle made about his companion. Police say Englander appeared to be intoxicated after event security escorted him outside. Englander remained in jail Tuesday, and Dobyns said she didn’t know whether Englander has an attorney to speak in his defense.
Ridiculous story. Guy pays money to go see Dave Chappelle. Guy gets mad at a joke Chappelle makes…and just so happens to have a banana peel to throw at him. I don’t comprehend it, but I also don’t speak stupid so I shouldn’t comprehend it. The thing is, if you are going to bring food to throw at the stage, you bring tomatoes. It’s a time-honored tradition to throw tomatoes when you don’t like an act. Not a banana peel. And especially not after you’ve already eaten the banana. That’s just lazy heckling/racism. If you’re going to be racist and throw a banana, at least give the black guy a chance to get some potassium in his diet. Hopefully it was one of those times where it was so racist he wasn’t even mad (see video below for reference).
And the best thing about this is he was not only arrested, but kept in jail. He went to jail Monday night and was still locked up on Tuesday night! A++++ police work. You do not throw a banana at a national treasure like Chappelle and use a get out of jail free card. I hope his paperwork gets misplaced, his booking file shredded, and he has to stay in jail for at least another 2 weeks until they sort this mess out.
PS: Chappelle is doing gigs in New Mexico? I can’t keep up with if he’s retired/not retired. Just come back to TV, please.
I feel like JMac right now? Is this real? Or is this an April Fool’s joke? Like this seems preposterous but I don’t put anything past the Spartan Race crowd. It’s like a cult of people in shape and who work out for fun. Just people in peak physical condition who run through fire, crawl in the mud and test themselves every day. Half of them probably don’t even have TV’s. So if you told me they all the Spartan Race people did Burpees at the same time a month ago and caused a minor earthquake I’d probably believe you.]]>
What the hell is this shit? Why is everything white? What am I even looking at? Where do I click? Can I still even click? Can’t fucking stand when websites pull this shit. We don’t like change guys! We’re simple minded, we like to wake up and see the same thing in the same place, every single day. Probably never going to go back to ESPN ever again. A man can only be pushed so far. Done with it, forever.
All jokes aside, I’m actually really lost here. I know just like every other website change I’ll be fine in 24 hours, but right now I’m flying blind. Did they change the app too? I’ve been on TheScore for the past year and never looked back. So much better for getting scores with no hassle, if I could recommend one thing in life it would be that.
It would be awesome if D got suspended for this.
Tribune – SAUDI ARABIA: In a first of its kind medical case, a man in Saudi Arabia was admitted to a hospital with the stiletto of a heel lodged in his head . Local media reports said that the incident took place following a dispute between the man and his wife which led her to hit him in the head with the heel of her shoe. Upon his arrival at the hospital, doctors said they had never encountered such a case before.
Ah, the Stiletto Heel. A blessing and a curse. A double edged sword. A sexy high heel giveth, and a sexy high heel taketh away. On the one hand, they’re sexy as fuck. Makes a chicks ass pop and her stems look great. Every stripper you’ve ever seen wears them. And if you get a chick who wears a strappy pair of Fuck Me pumps in the bedroom, you’re in for some of the best sex of your life. Straight up porn star stuff.
On the other hand, the High Heel can be your mortal enemy. First it starts at the beginning of the night when your girlfriend is trying on 4 different pairs. “Do you like this one? Or this one?” 3 minutes later emerges from the closet “or this one?” I dont know babe! Wear whichever pair you arent going to be complaining about 30 seconds into our night after we’ve walked half a block. Like I said I appreciate the notion that high heels can work wonders for a girl’s look, but when your ankles are wobbling and you look like a baby deer trying to walk on ice that sexiness kind of disappears. Sex appeal completely out the window when you’re drunk and barefoot complaining that your feet hurt.
And do you know what absolutely murders the sex appeal? When your chick gets mad at you and stabs your brain with her shoe. That is the biggest buzzkill boner poison. Here I am thinking about you leaving your heels on in the bedroom and next thing I know I’ve got a stiletto through the cerebellum. Thats actually probably how he ended up in this situation? Told his wife they were going home to the bedroom to do butt stuff with her heels on and next thing you know, high heel to the dome. My new answer next time my chick asks me which shows I like is “Whichever ones you wont stab me with.” “Whichever ones can’t penetrate the human skull.” Chicks and their shoes man. Just crazy.]]>
You know, April Fool’s is all fun and games till someone gets hurt. Somebody call child services. Mothers should never be this cruel to their children. Shit like this should only be reserved for enemies and siblings only. This is pure, unadulterated savagery on top of a waste of perfectly good Oreos. Bitch probably licked the cream clean herself, too.
On a sidenote, Sage Steele has kids? Like, plural? Good for her. That minx of a MILF can still get it on and off the Sportscenter set.
This is what I needed. A lot of various April Fools pranks will be blogged today because that’s all that’s going on every April 1st but it’s all just SO dumb. If you don’t treat anyone saying anything today with a degree of suspicion, you’re an idiot. But if your April Fools prank is just you being like “Hey I’m going to do this thing JK NO I’M NOT” that’s not even a fucking prank, that’s just you lying to screw with someone. As crappy as office pranks are, covering someone’s desk in bubble wrap is an actual prank because it required some effort besides you just saying something that’s not true. So bottom line: If you do any pranks like this, you deserve to get screamed at, dumped, hell I’d cosign on a murder. Hopefully this woman now lives a life of loneliness and sad bottles of cheap red wine and cats whom she’s convinced love her but would actually eat her if given the chance. Lazy pranks deserve a lazy prank price.
God. Fucking. Dammit.]]>
Oh is that it, Rob? Just looking for a girl who cleans, cooks, is independently wealthy, let’s you fuck other chicks on the side and never leaves the house? Just want a bang maid who gets paid big bucks by an unknown person to clean up after you and suck your dick? Shoot for the stars I guess, my man. Gronk is even a kid who never grew up in these situations. That used to be my answer when I was in middle school and thought girls would do anything for guys. Then I hit high school and realized I was worthless and was going to have to settle for a chick who only kinda hated me and I’d have to split chores. Gronk never hit that stage. And he’s never going to. Him hoping for a rich bang maid sounds ridiculous to us common folk, but that’s exactly what he’s going to get.
PS – So awesome that Gronk is in that special level of fame where he can say literally whatever he wants. The more “archaic” or “offensive” it is, the more endearing people find it. Like if anyone else says they want a woman to clean up after them and isn’t allowed to leave the house then shit hits the fan. When Gronk says it it’s cute. Must be so sweet.]]>
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Well I’m sweating. Jesus Christ. Kind of crazy that Niykee Heaton was a High School senior in Geneva 2 years ago and now she’s doing photoshoots like this. This right here is why I love the internet.
Also liked this question
“Let’s make music together” is such an awesome pick up line. Should have learned guitar or how to work one of those beep bop soundboards. Fuck.]]>
TT - Guard Melo Trimble will play his sophomore season at Maryland, head coach Mark Turgeon announced Wednesday, officially putting the NBA Draft on hold and giving the Terrapins another year with their best player. “We did our due diligence and also had a number of great discussions with Melo and his mom regarding what would be best regarding his future,” Turgeon said in an athletic department release. “He is excited about playing with a great team and is looking forward to his sophomore year at Maryland.” Between the end of Maryland’s season and Wednesday’s announcement, Maryland got a commitment from five-star center Diamond Stone. He’ll team with Trimble on what looks like a strong Maryland roster for next season.
YES! YES! YES!
While it was like a 90% lock anyway, it’s so great to hear it is official that Melo Trimble is going to come back for his sophomore year and team with 5 star incoming freshman center Diamond Stone. They immediately become one of the top 5 duos in college basketball. Add in the number 33 recruit from 2012 Robert Carter, who averaged 11 and 8 as a freshman with Georgia Tech before transferring and sitting out this last season, and Maryland is looking ridiculously good. Like, Final Four good. The talent will be there. Knocking on wood every day that everyone stays healthy.
And don’t forget, there’s a chance they replace the graduating Dez Wells with stud transfer from Drexel Damion Lee. If he actually returns home, goodness gracious. I’m getting leaky just thinking about it. Could be the Dirtiest Terps team ever.]]>
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — New York Mets center fielder Juan Lagares has a long-term contract to go with his Gold Glove Award. Lagares and the Mets have agreed to a contract extension through 2019, with an option for the following year, sources told ESPN.com. The deal covers all of Lagares’ arbitration years and guarantees him more than $20 million. It also includes a team option for 2020, which would be the first season that Lagares otherwise would be eligible for free agency. Lagares, 26, hit .281 with four homers and 47 RBIs in 416 at-bats in 2014. According to ESPN Stats & Information, he led all major-league center fielders with 28 Defensive Runs Saved in 2014. That total nearly doubled the center fielders with the next-highest total, Ender Inciarte of the Arizona Diamondbacksand Leonys Martin of the Texas Rangers (15 apiece). In November, Lagares became the third Mets outfielder to win a Gold Glove, joining Carlos Beltran and Tommie Agee.
Juanny Beisbol through 2020 on a team friendly deal? Yes please. No April Fools here, we just locked up the best defensive centerfielder in all of baseball. And I’m not one to put much stock in Spring Training performances, but if he can be even close to as productive with the bat as he has been down in PSL, Juanny is gonna be a very valuable part of this team. I complain all the time about how the Mets wont open the wallets and go get a major corner outfield who carries a big stick, but I got no problem with a long term commitment to Lagares in center. Its an inexpensive commitment to a young defensive stud who’s shown brilliance in the field and signs of promise at the plate. The fact that he’s a fan favorite and has a phenomenal nickname is just icing on the cake.]]>
Introducing the “Wayback Triple Triple” burger. A burger which has 9 patties, 9 slices of cheese, and that’s pretty much it (Quick Sidenote: I think the “9 Inning Burger” would be a much better name, but whatever). But seriously, that’s ALL this burger is. It’s just a really really big burger. Nothing innovative about it, nothing fancy, nothing at all. Just 9 cheeseburgers morphed into one. And that’s absolutely pathetic. The Philadelphia Phillies should be ashamed of themselves. This is such a blatant panic move, it makes me sick. There has been an all out Ballpark Food War going on for the past few weeks now. Nate has been taking care of covering the majority of them, but let’s just breakdown what we’ve seen so far.
Wilmington Blue Rocks – Krispy Kreme Donut Dog
Milwaukee Brewers – Deep Fried Nachos On A Stick
Minnesota Twins – Pepperoni Pizza Bloody Mary
Houston Astros – Chicken & Waffle Cones
Random MiLB Team – Grilled Cheese Burgers
All of these are fantastic. They’re something that you don’t see just anywhere, and something that took at least a little bit of time and effort to come up with. But the “Wayback Triple Triple”? That’s for the feeble-minded. I guess they thought people would be amazed at how big it is or something? I don’t know, it’s just a cheap little gimmick. What definitely happened here is that the Phillies saw every other stadium in the league churn out the greatest food concoctions one after another, got scared, panicked, and gave us this. And that’s just sad. It just would have been so much better to have stayed out of this war that they had no shot of winning in the first place. The goddamn team, man. They suck at everything.]]>
People- An Uber driver was arrested on Tuesday on suspicion of burglary after a passenger accused him of trying to rob her home. Police say 51-year-old Gerald Montgomery picked up the unidentified Denver woman and drove her to the airport before returning to burglarize her home, according to KUSA. However, the robbery attempt was thwarted by the woman’s roommate, who was home at the time. Authorities say Montgomery was unaware that the woman lived with anyone else. When he saw someone was home, he left. He was taken into custody on Tuesday afternoon on suspicion of attempted second-degree burglary, the Denver Post reports. “Upon learning about this incident from our valued rider, we immediately deactivated the driver’s access to the platform, pending a full investigation. We remain committed to supporting Denver law enforcement in any way we can,” an Uber spokesperson told Time.
Uber makes no sense to me. I get that it’s practical and that it’s a car service and whatever. No, we don’t have Uber in the city where I live (LOL Iowa. No need for Uber when all we do is ride horses) so it’s hard for me to get a grasp on the concept of it when I’ve never used it.. Basically I wanna know who these drivers are. If I lived in a city with Uber could I wake up one morning, decide to be an Uber driver and be dropping people off at the airport by noon? What’s the screening process? Is there one? Or is it like in GTA when you pistol whip a cab driver, press a button and all of a sudden you’re a cab driver? That’s how it seems Uber works but I’m not gonna Google it because I don’t want to. But given that understanding, yeah no fucking shit Uber drivers are gonna be thieves and criminals. It’s easy prey. Take the person to the airport then retrace your GPS and rob them blind. The only reason it didn’t work in this case is because the roommate was there but I bet it’s worked for other criminal-minded Uber drivers who took people to the airport and who lived alone. Drop them off, give them the “I hate goodbyes” speech from Dumb and Dumber then head back and raid their kitchen. Easy peasy.]]>
This is a question I’ve been wrestling with the last couple days after watching Gronk tear up Ultra. Is he a good dancer? Tough one right? Like he clearly loves to dance. Clearly chicks get all hot and bothered watching him dance. Obviously he slays a ton of chicks, but that’s all kind of irrelevant. Just from an artistic point of view is he a good dancer? I’ve been wrestling with this all weekend and even though I know it’s blasphemous I think he kind of sucks right? He does the same 3 things in succession every time and it doesn’t matter what song is playing either. Doesn’t matter if he’s on a duckboat, Celine Dion concert or at Ultra. It’s the same basic 3 steps in succession. The stand up running man thing, ass shake, hump the floor. Like what happens if he has to dance for more than 30 second bursts? Does he just repeat these same 3 moves over and over and over again? I guess maybe I need to hold back my judgment till I get a solid 1 minute dance reel from him. But for now I’m giving him a C-
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – Florida State’s pro day was supposed to be one of the final boxes for NFL teams to check off in their ongoing assessment of quarterback Jameis Winston. And now we’re starting to find out exactly how deep that evaluation has gone. Shadowing Winston – in essence, spying on him – apparently has fit into at least one team’s equation.
That revelation comes from Winston’s quarterback guru, the highly respected George Whitfield Jr., who ran Winston’s passing performance during Tuesday’s pro day. According to Whitfield, teams have been very aggressive in their vetting process, including watching Winston when he’s least likely to be looking.
“They’ve staged people,” Whitfield said. “Yeah, there are teams that have staged people on different flights he had, just to kind of be in the midst – a fly on the wall. No [Jameis wasn’t aware of it], but I had a team official tell me that. They were aware of another team that said they wanted to do that.”
How could a team know Winston’s flight plan?
“When you go to the [NFL scouting] combine, the league has a flight deal, a flight manifest,” Whitfield said.
Kind of crazy/funny when you think about it – some hardened, street tough P.I. tailing a college kid around, spying on him on cross country flights after he threw footballs and ran some sprints in nothing but some tiny spandex. Picturing like 1000 movies right now of cop stakeouts, except instead of some massive drug or human trafficking ring leader, it’s the goofy Florida State kid who stole king crab legs and yelled a viral Youtube phrase.
But at the same time, it makes perfect sense. An NFL team is about to make a HUGE investment on Jameis. An investment that, if we’re being honest, is going to be very risky considering his documented past. So yeah, following him around and observing how he is when he has his guard down, when he doesn’t think anyone is watching that closely, you can learn a lot about a person like that. Anyone can say the right things and act polite in a professional team meeting that’s going to decide his future.
PS – Airport/airplane are definitely the most unfair places to do this though if we’re being honest. Personally I’m my worst self when traveling. Like you’re really going to judge Jameis on getting pissed at the foreign dude in front of him on the security line who keeps trying to go through the scanner with a massive belt buckle and 15,000 coins in his pocket?]]>
I don’t think I have ever seen a picture of Mark Davis that didn’t make me laugh. Such a fascinating character. Millionaire NFL Owner that cuts his own hair and wears peach colored shirts with a white wrinkled undershirt. It’s like the anti-style. He lacks style so hard that I actually thinks it’s cooler than any fashion trend could ever be. Do you Mark Davis, never ever change.
The fact that this guy is in the picture
And has the second most outrageous haircut is just stunning.
8 News - A West Texas man has been charged with impersonating an officer by using sirens and flashing lights to skip to the head of the drive-thru line at a fast-food restaurant. Odessa police say Michael Chico was arrested after an off-duty officer spotted a truck with law-enforcement trappings. Cpl. Steve LeSueur says Chico’s vehicle looked like an unmarked police vehicle. The officer who saw the truck cut in line Saturday thought the driver, who was wearing a uniform, was a volunteer firefighter and followed Chico to some apartments. LeSueur says that when confronted, Chico said he wasn’t an officer and also used the lights and sirens to get through traffic lights. Chico was freed Sunday on $15,000 bond. Online jail records don’t list an attorney for him.
I love his hustle here. Is it a bit immoral to pretend to be a cop to cut the line at a Roy Rogers? Sure. But if it works is it the most awesome thing in the world? Absolutely. You’d be walking on sunshine if all you had to do was flicker on a siren and you didn’t have to wait in a long drive-thru line like a peasant. I don’t know why cops get to cut the line to begin with, but that’s a sick perk. And this guy was smart enough to realize that he could zoom through red lights with his fake cop car too. I love him. Shoving french fries in his mouth while he flicks the siren on and off to go through traffic. I don’t get why real cops would be mad at this. They all do it. Why can’t the rest of us if we put in the work? I think if you put in the time to impersonate a police officer, maybe get a 3 strike system. First one is like “ohhh, ya got me, my bad” and everyone has a laugh. Second strike is like “ok, fine, I won’t do it again”. And then third strike you lose your being a fake cop privilege. But jail time for trying to get some delicious food by any means possible? Ridiculous. And besides, I thought imitation was the best form of flattery.
Well that’s one way to get fired. Physics teachers are right up there with the Phys-Ed department in High School hardoability. Just because they understand the laws of the universe they think their shit doesn’t stink. I once had a teacher who attempted an inertia experiment by literally chucking a bowling ball at full blast into the chalkboard. Screamed like a madman all the way. Sure, he could have done that egg drop thing, but Isaac Newton wasn’t a pussy. A virgin, yes, but not a pussy.
If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, then I would assume this axe master of AP Physics got a POW straight to the dickens after this one. Not that it matters. Mr. Wizard voluntarily retired his dick when he decided to grow that thing on his face.
Talk about a Nutty Professor. Amiright??? I’ll show myself out.]]>
NEWTONVILLE, N.Y. (NEWS10) – Some local students gathered in Newtonville on Tuesday to protest a billboard featuring a kitchen they claim to be sexist. The billboard was posted by Teakwood Builders Inc. It features a kitchen with the text “Your wife wants me” printed on the sign. The billboard is located between Siena College and Newton Plaza on Route 9. Some Siena students found the billboard to be sexist and offensive, so they gathered under the billboard in protest on Tuesday afternoon. They held signs that read ‘I prefer an office,’ ‘Men can make their own sandwiches,’ ‘Women left the kitchen decades ago,’ and ‘I can buy my own kitchen.’ Siena student Delaney Rivers said in an e-mail “[The billboard] implies that men are the primary financial supporters of women and that women are materialistic and portrayed as having no other value outside of the kitchen. This is especially egregious towards students at our institution as many of us are working towards financial independence in hopes to have successful careers and equality in our relationships.”
Well here’s a collection of young girls who one day are gonna make some poor guys miserable bastards for the rest of their lives. Standing on the side of the goddam road complaining about a billboard. I mean God bless the suckers that get duped into settling down with these chicks.
Listen girls not everything is sexism. Not everything is an offensive stereotype. Girls care way more about nice kitchens than guys. Thats not prejudice or discrimination. Thats just a fact. Sure, there are some dudes who like to rattle the pots and pans who would love stainless steal appliances and a big oven and a nice island to work with. But the fact of the matter is most guys care about a fridge and a microwave and thats about it. And the only reason they care about getting a fancy kitchen is because their wife wants one and wont shut the fuck up until she gets one. Most girls want all the bells and whistles in their kitchen and that doesnt make them a good-for-nothing baby making, sandwich making machine. Its possible to have an office and a job and all that other shit from your dumb protest signs and still want a really nice kitchen. So a billboard appealing to men who have wives who want a new kitchen doesnt imply that all women are professional failures who do nothing but cook and clean. It just mean chicks like kitchens, and its a sign trying to convince men to spend money on something they ordinarily wouldnt care about.
Now would all of you put down those signs, get off the side of the road, and get in the kitchen and fix me a sandwich?]]>
This was long but pretty damn good. I still maintain that I was never offended with Trevor Noah’s jokes, I just wish they had been a little funnier, but the point remains, if you take anything written out of context it will be spun in an offensive way. Dissecting every single word is uttered or tweeted is where comedy will die. Patton Oswalt nailed it, especially that last tweet.
BOOM! IN YOUR FACE BARRY O! NEWT JUST SERVED YOU!
Two things, love the delivery from Newt. Love it. Seemed so genuine and I’m sure he got a bunch of people because they probably think politicians won’t participate in Arpil Fool’s day. Especially a joke where he says he supports the president. Even when people found out that he was joking they were likely still pissed because that’s how people are. Second, hate the delivery of the “April Fools! part” Hate it. Way too corporate and boring. Newt needed to come out swinging when he revealed his last tweet was a joke. He’s gotta say, “BOOM! APRIL FOOLS! FUCK YOU GUYS! FUCK OBAMA! YOUR FOREIGN POLICY STINKS!” That’s how you do it. Really go at him. Otherwise it’s super boring.
Lastly, fuck April Fool’s day. Seriously. Admittedly the only reason I’m saying that is because I fuck at it. I suck at remembering that it’s April Fool’s day. Every April 1st I wake up and think, “Alright, stay on your toes today. You know what this day represents. Take everything with a grain of salt.” And then literally a second later I’ll see a tweet or something a be all like THAT’S SO CRAZY. I’m not even talking about just since I’ve been blogging. I’m talking about since I’ve existed on Earth. Today sucks.]]>
NYDN – A Clemson University student who was found floating in a lake near campus six months ago was killed after a fight with frat brothers over McDonald’s breakfast food, the student’s parents allege in a lawsuit.
The $25 million wrongful death suit filed Monday by the parents of Tucker Hipps claims that brothers at Clemson’s Sigma Phi Epsilon chapter began the breakfast-based brawl that resulted in their 19-year-old son’s accidental death.
On the night of Sept. 21, freshman Hipps attended a chapter meeting and got texts from several brothers hours later about a campus run planned for pledges the next morning, court records say. One brother, Bryan Golnek, texted Hipps demanding he bring “30 McDonalds biscuits, 30 McDonalds hash browns, and 2 gallons of chocolate milk” to the frat house for the run, records show.
Hipps replied that he didn’t have enough cash to finance the feast, and would need his pledge brothers to chip in. Those brothers “either could not purchase the biscuits or forgot to purchase the biscuits before the run.”
After the early morning run, during which the reportedly sober Hipps had a hard time keeping pace, frat member Thomas King called fellow brother Brian Golak and said he was “pissed off” the pledges didn’t have their McDonald’s breakfasts.
“Upon information and belief, Defendant King confronted Tucker about the Pledges’ failure to bring the requested McDonalds breakfast…Defendant King and Tucker had a confrontation over the Pledges’ failure to bring the requested McDonalds breakfast,” records say.
During the dispute, Hipps allegedly went over a bridge railing, falling headfirst into Lake Hartwell.
The court records are unclear about how this might have happened, not directly accusing anyone of pushing Hipps and also noting the frat has “a long tradition” of members forcing pledges to jump off the bridge and swim to shore.
[Screenshots via Jordan Sargent]
Sad, weird stuff coming out of Clemson. I mean it’s tragic enough when a 19 year old college kid dies under any circumstances. Can’t even imagine what it’s like to go through that as a parent. But then to hear all of these details? About McDonalds’ biscuits, hash browns, chocolate milk, pledge runs, traditions of jumping off bridges and swimming to shore. Such petty shit that, in his parents’ mind right now at least, cost their son his life. I stick up for frats a lot for dumb stuff like theme parties and harmless partying when the PC police jump all over them, but if these allegations turn out to be true and they were responsible for the death of a pledge and then a cover up about it? There’s no defense in the world for something as fucked up as that.]]>
Obviously huge win by the Bs last night. Played like dogshit in the second then came out in the third and took a must have period. What caused that to happen? Glad you asked. It was a “secret message.” Someone, or someones, stood up and went bonkers in between periods. And that’s why I think these guys can still make noise in the playoffs. They’ve got that strong core that the kids listen and, more importantly, respond to. War veterans who are willing to stand up in the locker room and lay into everyone when they know that’s what’s needed. It sounds simple and like it’s no big deal but most teams lose that game. This team has guys who know what it takes and won’t let them. That’s huge. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a core like that, young legs that have rejuvenated the squad, and an elite goaltender can be scary come the playoffs.
PS – For what it’s worth, my guess is Lucic was the one going off. Guys like Chara and Bergy are more the strong and silent, lead by example type. Lucic is the meathead. Also he’s really taken to the leadership role with Pasta and Spooner. As inconsistent as he can be I’m still not totally ready to cut ties with him at the end of this year. I won’t fault anyone who is, but I’m not. Just seems so important to this team in my eyes. Both on and off the ice. When he’s cooking, they look like a totally different team.
PPS – I haven’t been one to call for Julien to be fired, but how ’bout we start getting these kids on the ice some more? They’ve more than earned it. Pasta with 6 minutes TOI through two is indefensible.
So how was everyone else’s Tuesday night? Drew Miller’s seemed like a real blast. Just got his face sliced wide open from a by getting basically donkey kicked by a skate to the eye. I get at this point that human instinct just kicks in (pun wasn’t originally intended), but I don’t get how he’s able to pop up right away and sprint toward the bench. I’m throwing my gloves off, and rolling around on the ice and screaming bloody murder if that’s me. But nope, Drew Miller is just like “damnit, hey I know that we aren’t supposed to change in the defensive zone but do you think someone can hop on for me real quick?” Luckily, Miller didn’t receive any permanent damage and his eye is good-to-go. He’d probably be right back in the line up for tomorrow if it were up to him. Not sure how much difference the visor made here, but good thing he was wearing one regardless. And now it’s time for what you all really came here to see. The scar…
Gross, dude. And no, I’m not talking about the scar. I’m talking about Drew Miller’s hair. I fundamentally do not understand what is going on with that thing. The scar is pretty gross itself. I’ve definitely seen a better looking eye in my life at least once or twice.
P.S. – Who wore it better?
(gif via r/hockey)]]>
I don’t even know if this is really an April Fool’s joke per se, just outright saying “Hey I got a DUI” then 20 minutes later saying “Got Ya!”, but I respect the hustle. Gotta get out in front of these April Fools jokes because by the end of the day everyone will want to murder you if you’re still doing this shit. Classic Pendulum day. Start the morning off hating people who attempt a joke, “Bruce Irvin is the worst!” and end the day hating everyone who spends the day hating the people who attempt jokes, “People who hate Bruce Irvin’s joke are the worst”. Like I’m already pissed at myself for getting angry at other people constantly talking about April Fools and how dumb it is, I am part of the problem. That’s the internet though, we’re all basically a human centipede. Eating shit and then shitting in someone else’s mouth. Good times.
For the record, this is a sneaky genius day to air something you did wrong. Could you imagine if Bruce Irvin did get a DUI for real? Fantastic way to cover it up. Now all the google hits are “Bruce Irvin pretends to get DUI as April Fools Joke”. It’s the perfect crime.
Kmarko got me so bad on Gchat this morning, still reeling a little bit.
Your old boy Newt just having a little fun with it.
Free P - Detroit Red Wings forward Drew Miller rushed off the ice minutes into Tuesday’s game against the Ottawa Senators at Joe Louis Arena after being struck by a skate in the face. Miller suffered two lacerations around his right eye, but the team announced there was no damage to the eye itself. “It’s a scary moment, for sure,” Niklas Kronwall said. “But at the same time, we all found out fairly quickly that he was going to be OK.
Kinda gross but not too bad pic ahead:
Yikes! Man is he lucky. Skate across the eye and it’s a-ok. Sight is fine, eyeball is fine, scar is DOPE. Wish I could get a scar that cool. Only bad thing is think about how bad that scar is going to itch. That’s scarier than the injury. Scars are so fucking itchy man. But man, glad he’s ok. Fucking sucks when a guy takes a skate to the face. Happens a couple times a year and it’s brutal. Unless they start wearing full cages, which stink, it’s going to continue to happen. But if you wanted to wear a full cage, you wouldn’t play in the NHL. I’d lose an eyeball to play in the NHL. Pretty fair trade imo.]]>
PHILADELPHIA (WTXF) -A man is in the hospital after a brutal attack in a SEPTA station. The man was punched so hard he was knocked out, according to authorities. Now, SEPTA police want to identify the teens in the video to talk to them about what happened on the train just before the alleged assault. It was a single punch that left the 60-year-old victim out cold on the platform at 15th and Market as his alleged attacker fled. “Our victim was knocked unconscious, suffered a broken jaw . Got stitches to his face and was left laying there on the platform,” said Chief Nestel. It started when the victim got on the train Monday afternoon and accidentally stepped on a young man’s shoe. Authorities say that led to an exchange of words with another young man. Several girls tried to intervene.
Well this is comforting. SEPTA: Where Accidentally Stepping On A Foot Can Eventually Break Your Face. Granted, the 60-year-old man should have probably walked away instead of trying to teach manners or hold down respect, but he still didn’t deserve that whamming. Seriously. Holy sucker fest. When someone gets to wind up like a major league pitcher before delivering a punch, you know the victim didn’t see it coming. Dude looked like Dennis Eckersley perfecting the slide step.]]>
How shocked were you when you realized that the Camaro had Florida plates? TBH I would’ve been shocked if this had happened in any state north of Florida. And that’s to say it had to happen in Florida. I like to think the Mom came up with this idea and the Dad was like, “Fuck yeah! Let’s do it! That’ll be the most fun I’ve had since that little fucker was born!” Just so excited that he couldn’t get the string and his car keys fast enough. He was probably way more excited than the kid. Come to think of it, ripping out your child’s tooth by way of slamming on a gas pedal might be the most fun thing a parent can do. Hell, it might be the most fun thing anyone can do. Do it once, you need the rush again so badly so you just start tying the string to teeth that aren’t even loose and ripping them out. If that sounds like child abuse that’s because it would be. Don’t care. That Dad has the right idea.
This is 1000% the look of a Dad who loves pulling his son’s teeth by using is Camaro. He’s perfect for it.
Today is the best day of the year in the cubes. April Fools. Its the worst fucking day of your life. Tricked you!
Nothing worse than April Fools Day strictly because it gives unfunny people carte blanche to try to be funny. And really, when you boil life down, thats the worst thing there is. Unfunny try hards thinking what they’re doing is hysterical when really its just cringeworthy. You wake up to an email that says work has been canceled and 10 minutes later another email that says April Fools. Thats not funny man, you actually just crushed some people’s souls. Promise people donuts for breakfast or a catered lunch and then you just don’t deliver and say “April Fools!” Thats not a prank, you’re just an asshole. All you’ve done is fuck with people’s lunch plans. Put tape over my mouse and rearrange the letters on my keyboard. Cover my office in Post its. Make airhorns blast off when I sit down. If you do any of those things, you can rest assured everyone in your office – and most likely your life as you know it – hates your guts.
I cant wait till the day we hear the story of someone just setting the office ablaze and when everyone is running for their lives and inhaling smoke they just yelled “April Fools!” Like, get it??? I hate everyone who works here, so I decided to set this place on fire and watch everyone perish! GOTCHA!
As always I want you to tweet me with all the pictures, videos, stories, descriptions of your office’s most cringeworthy April Fools “Pranks.” Send to @KFCbarstool and we’ll put together a blog of the best/worst bullshit of the day.]]>
LATIMES - Although they have transformed the Cavaliers into one of the Eastern Conference’s top teams, the level of camaraderie between the three has been lacking. Love said last week that he and James were “not best friends. On Monday, James indicated there isn’t anyone on the Cavaliers he would consider a best friend. He said only Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul and Dwyane Wade are his close friends among NBA players.
First of all it’s such a 2nd grade move to talk about who you consider your best friends. Bron Bron strikes me as the type of guy who is constantly rotating who his #1 best friend is within his group of best friends too. Like if you don’t do this for him he’ll put you back to #3 Best Friend. Such a little child.
Anyway even though I generally look for any reason to shit on Lebron, I don’t think it’s that unusual for a star player not to be besties with other guys on his team. Bird wasn’t. Jordan wasn’t. Kobe certainly isn’t. So I’m not going to hold this against Lebron. Instead I just think his best friends are chumps. So Lebron it hurts. Carmello? Douchebag. Dwayne Wade? Douchebag. Chris Paul? Well I really got nothing bad to say about him, but Feitleberg just told me black twitter hates him so Douchebag. Just a clown group of best friends for a clown guy. Nice group of doucebag best friends douchebag.]]>
Wisconsin Basketball on : “,,, and that’s a wrap http://t.co/GwimkeP6Rs”
h/t Badger MBB
I know these guys aren’t high right now but like, they’re definitely high right? Seems like the group of stoners where every time you end up in their room they’re sitting huddled around a TV with wires all over the place, a massive bong on the table and open Cheetos bags scattered on the floor, not one of the 4 best basketball teams in the country. That’s what makes them so likable. I picture Kentucky in some underground bunker all week running on those futuristic treadmills with oxygen masks on and wires attached to them like a bunch of Dragos then meeting with agents and getting fitted for NBA jerseys. Meanwhile Wisco is playing N64 and giggling about suckoffs.
PS – Anybody know what suckoffs are? Not Googling that. Not this early in the morning at least.]]>
Happy Wednesday. Enjoy your coffee. NSFW link click here.
Getting your ankles broken sucks. Getting your ankles broken on a behind the back dribble is just cruel, Jesus Christ Steph, Chris has a family, and a twin brother.
CP3 gotta stay woke (I hope I did that right)