The White Boy Bench Celebrations is in its prime right now. Peter Dill blazed the trail last year with his Thor’s Hammer move and since then its taken on a life of its own. Air Guitars. Archers. The Spotter. I swear to God these kids probably put more effort and thought into these celebrations than the guys on the court. Its got a limited amount of time left before its completely jumped the shark so these are my choices for my white boy air celebrations:
1. Ryu/Ken Hadouken – Hadouken!
2. Bowling – The full motion. The approach. The delivery. Leave the arm up high and the leg kicked out. Then obviously you scream “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM! GODDAMIT I DID IT” like PBW.
3. 2 man Skeet shooting – One scrub pulls, the other scrub does the shooting. PULL!
4. The Ghostbuster – Throw the Dematerializer trap out on the floor, use your Proton Pack to zap the ghosts.
5. The Macualay Culkin Face – Pour the after shave in your hand, rub your hands together, slap your face, go nuts (h/t to Stoolie @jaseinfeld)
6. The Diamond Cutter – BANG! Its like doing the D/X chop but not as cliche. (h/t to Stoolie @UKLefty22)
7. The Miss America/Queen of England Wave – Especially if its an away game. Turn to the fans and do that wave where you cup your hand and just rotate your wrist back and forth
8. The Bill Clinton Thumbs Up – Similar to the wave. Just turn to the crowd and give that smug “I just got my dick sucked” double thumbs up. (h/t to Stoolie @AlphaDucks. I’ll be honest I dont even get this one but I think its just a hilarious answer)
9. The Marty McFly Duck Walk – Take the air guitar to the next level.
10. Karate Kid Crane Kick – If you had one guy Painting the Fence, one guy Wax On Wax Off, one guy Sanding The Deck and a 4th guy doing the Crane Kick all in a row, it would be one of the best moments in sports history. (h/t to commenter Valbroski)
PS – The 3 Goggles move that every bench scrub is using is played out. Its been going for a couple years now, and every scrub in the land uses it. Dude on Gonzaga was crushing it last night:
This shit is old hat. Played out. But if you insist on incorporating some sort of 3 goggles, make sure its the double upside down 3 goggles:
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