Well, I’m Going To War With The Internet Nerds

Warning: this is a long blog that focuses on fucking watermarks on pictures. If you’re not interested in that, and I dont blame you if you aren’t, skip. But it should lead to another KFC war so its up to you.

Fresh off Hondruasgate and I’ve already got another battle to fight. This time, its an internet nerd complaining about me using his picture without a watermark. I didn’t want to blog it because I didn’t wanna give him any exposure and its a pointless topic, but this dude has been ranting on twitter all day and night and then emailed Pres, so now its time to have a little fun. This ends up being a lengthy blog when you post the emails and what not, so let me set the scene after the jump:

Yesterday I wrote a blog endorsing Mike Francesa as the next Pope. I Googled “francesa pope” to get a picture for that blog and I clicked on the first picture I liked. It took me to a “photobucket” website that doesn’t allow you to right click and save pictures. So I took a screenshot of it because I still wanted to use it. Didn’t even think twice about. Never would. Anyway, the dude who made that picture has gone completely off the deep end. I mean straight off the handle. Internet rage like you read about. Tweeting non stop and emailing my boss like he’s a Winklevoss and I’m Zuckerberg. His billion dollar Pope Francesa photoshop has been stolen!

Before I show you all the tweets and emails, let me just show you what we’re working with:

Picture I posted:

Picture with the watermark, which has subsequently been sent to me, which i have no problem posting, because a watermark that just says “Funtime” doesn’t do a goddam thing:

Funtime. Nobody even knows what the fuck that means. That launched into this:

Looks like Matthew was not having a fun time! Thats about half the tweets. And doesn’t even begin to capture the nerd brigade that started tweeting me too. If you wanna see the full unabridged twitter meltdown from this dude and his buddies, you can find it on my [email protected]. Full blown, Code Red, Defcon 1 for the nerds. The sky is falling type shit. I sent him one tweet saying if he had just sent me the watermarked one, I would have posted it, but since he whined like a bitch now I won’t. Figured it would die there. Then he went and emailed Pres:

Dear Barstool Sports, 

I’m curious if using an image that I created and cropping out my signature would constitute a breach of your copyright policy? Barstool Contribute KFC (or whatever) used a specific image that i created that clearly has my username on it towards the bottom as part of a piece today. Only after being lambasted on Twitter for the obvious cropping of a very old and oft-circulated pic was the pic swapped out for something else (with full credit to the new person, of course). 

Now, the internet piracy is expected. I’ve had my images lifted and used all over the place for various things – just today I was on SI.com with a similarly themed image. The theft isn’t what troubles me – it’s the repeated condoning and acceptance of this blatant rip off by a few members of the Barstool community. One would expect fellow bloggers to have some semblance of respect for one another, but I guess that is too much to ask. 

Strange though, it literally took more effort to alter my image than to ask or just go ahead and use it with credit. I have no issue sharing my images, that is what they are for. I do have a problem when a purposed effort is made to deceive.

Is this the most misguided attempt to email someone’s boss to get them in trouble of all time? Like El Pres is gonna sue me and his own site for copyright policies. El Pres doesn’t even know what copyright even means. We’re Barstool Sports bro. Don’t you know us? We’re rapists and drug dealers according to the rest of the world. You think anybody here or any of the Stoolies gives a fuck about your picture on the internet??? You’re a nerd dude! I’m usually cool with nerds, but you’re a crybaby, so now I hate you! You’re embarrassing yourself. I really didn’t wanna give the guy any satisfaction or exposure but I just couldn’t hold me tongue anymore. So I emailed him last night:

Rather than emailing me or tweeting me with a jpeg I could have swapped out, you cried like a little bitch and whined on twitter. So now I don’t like you. Now I take the extra steps to replace your pictures with other people’s work and properly cite them just to intentionally piss you off. Its more work for me. Its spiteful. And I like doing it because I don’t like nerds like you who think a picture going around the internet without your stupid slogan is the end of the world. This is the internet bro. People steal the shit I write and the stuff we post literally every single day. Nobody gives a fuck about your watermark – it doesn’t even do anything. The most hysterical part is I obviously liked those pictures. You could have approached me about them. I would have loved to work something out with you where you provide exclusive Francesa pics since I blog about him all the time. Barstool could have consistently posted the pictures you create. Get your name out there, get a plug from Barstool New York. Link to your twitter or whatever awful photobucket site that was. Maybe even get some money out of it. One of the biggest sports blogs on the internet found your work, liked it, and posted it. Rather than try to turn that into something, you cried about “getting credit” and internet etiquette like a chick. So now I intentionally will never give you credit for anything. I will go out of my way to do so.

As for the whole “blogger community respect” blah blah blah. You must be new to barstool. I don’t give a shit about any of that. I don’t know who you are or what your blog is. I dont respect you. I just write stupid jokes on the internet for a living. I liked your Francesa pics and took a screenshot because it was easier for me. Not like I try to took credit for creating it – and its not like any of my readers would ever think I created that. I never had an intent to avoid giving credit to the people who created them. But now I do. Because again, it all comes back to me not liking you now. 

Well done dude. Hope that twitter tantrum felt good though

Now I know it seems totally backwards to post this guy’s name and twitter and his picture and shit. But all these local New York blogs picked up this “story” and people have been commenting and tweeting that I need to respond, so here’s the whole story. Its me against the wannabe nerds. Hopefully Funtime is Hondo. That would be perfect. A starving Hondo crying about his pictures. Just combine these two wars and double the fun. I don’t know whether its because I had a real job before I dove into perpetual childhood here on the internet, but I don’t give a fuck about giving or getting credit on the internet. I take stories, pictures and videos and I write stupid jokes about them. I do that very well and thats what I get paid for. You want to steal my joke? Go ahead. I’m flattered. You think I stole something from you? Chances are I don’t give a fuck at all. But do not go whining like a bitch and do not go emailing my boss like a skirt. Now we’re internet enemies and I will go out of my way to internet bully you. Hopefully the Stoolies will give him the Michelle Fields treatment.

Viva La Stool!

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