Time Warner Cable Spoof – How Can We Make Your Life Worse?


Out of all the incompetent organizations in New York City, Time Warner is by FAR the worst. If you took the incompetence of the Mets, Jets and the MTA, combined all three, and then doubled that, you’d be halfway to Time Warner’s incompetence. Anyone who watches KFC Radio notices my connection cuts out virtually every single week. My DVR works like 50% of the time. I’ll press rewind or pause or something and I just get a little circle with a slash through it “stop sign.” Just like Time Warner¬†causally¬†being like “For sure not.” Without fail every time I order a movie, it stops in the first 10 minutes and tells me its unavailable. And when you call them up, the pass you around from retard to retard who asks you “Have you reset your box?” Then they tell you that they are sending some magical signal to your box. Then it obviously doesn’t work and you need to schedule a technician to come to your apartment and the next available appointment is about 6 weeks from now.

So the answer to these guys question – what can Time Warner do worse? – is fucking nothing. They are doing everything as bad as humanly possible for a cable company. I promise you the sole thing that will one day make me leave Manhattan is to get away from the clutches of Time Warner’s monopoly.

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