The Secret Service Once Warned Mr. Met With A “Kill Shot” For Going Near Bill Clinton

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NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — It’s common knowledge: the President of the United States is surrounded 24-7 by Secret Service agents, both seen and unseen. They’re going to do what they have to do to protect the leader of the free world. Approach the POTUS at your own risk — even if you’re a professional sports mascot, with your giant mitts and huge noggin. A.J. Mass, who suited up as the New York Mets’ mascot from 1994-97, said in his new book that he was warned in no uncertain terms about advancing toward President Bill Clinton, who was at Shea Stadium in April 1997 for the 50th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking MLB’s color barrier. “Now listen to me very carefully. … We have snipers all around the stadium, just in case something were to happen,” a Secret Service agent told Mass, according to a book excerpt making the rounds. “Like I said, do whatever it is you normally do. Nobody will bother you. But approach the president, and we go for the kill shot. Are we clear?” The former Mr. Met wrote that it felt like the agent wasn’t “only looking into my eyes, but also into my very soul with his blank, unblinking stare.” Then another warning, for good measure. “Approach the president, and we go for the kill shot,” the agent told Mass. “ARE–WE–CLEAR?” We’re clear. Mass’ memoir, “Yes, It’s Hot in Here: Adventures in the Weird, Woolly World of Sports Mascots,” is on sale now.

Could you imagine if Mr. Met assassinated the President of the United States? One minute Slick Willie and him are smiling for a picture and the next minute Mr. Met detonates his giant head filled with plastic explosives and kills everyone standing on the diamond. Its an entirely plausible plot. Mr. Met – finally fed up with decades of futility and heartbreak and being a mute – decides to commit murder/suicide while taking out the most powerful man on the planet earth. I mean its not a coincidence the Secret Service warned him with a Kill Shot. These guys evaluate every level of potential risk and clearly Mr. Met’s pathetic ass was worthy of a sniper following everywhere he went.

Can you imagine how they would have treated the Phillie Phanatic? I mean if Mr. Met was a threat I can’t even imagine what the ultimate Philadelphia fan is considered. The chances he would puke on the President or shoot him with a flare gun or stab him with a knife have gotta be through the roof. Would probably just green light that Kill Shot the minute they saw that scumbag step on to the field.

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