The Definitive Maps Of How People Pronounce Stuff In America
These things are always hot button issues, particularly because people are assholes and automatically assume whatever they say, or whatever the people from their home town say, is automatically correct. Here’s a few of the big time ones that stood out:
Is America fucking serious with this shit right here? Merry, marry, and Mary are all the same fucking thing? Get out of my face you inbred idiots. This is why the Northeast is basically the only region that can be trusted. The Deep South is obviously off the list. Middle America and the Mid West is like the slightly smarter cousin of the South. Obviously that whole Montana/Idaho region is completely irrelevant. And even California and the West Coast is off the list now. Merry, Mary, and Marry are three different words you morons. America was started in the Northeast and apparently its the only place that still continues to be a functioning, intelligent region of the United States. Imagine if like 90% of this country got married to a chick named Mary? They’d just be like “I can’t wait to merry Merry and be merry.” That makes me want New York City, New Jersey and Long Island to secede.
I hate a lot of people in this world. A LOT. The majority of people I’ve ever met, I’ve found a reason to hate them. But there’s a special place in hell for people who pronounce cray-on, CRAN. I hope all the bad things in this world happen to them and only them. Absolutely the most unacceptable thing I’ve ever heard. Its not an accent thing. Its not a dialect. Not linguistics. If you just choose to blatantly ignore the Y-O and the refuse to admit this is a two syllable word you are a retarded person. And I’m not even gonna address the assholes in Michigan and Minnesota who apparently pronounce crayon “crown.” There’s a reason you two assholes are almost in Canada.
I’ll tell you whats the cutest thing – That faint yellow stain in Massachusetts. A little pee-stain on the map on America trying to pretend that Boston can be referred to as a capitalized T capitalize C “The City.”
Well I’ve never felt like a bigger pussy in my entire life. NYC, NJ, and the Jews from NYC/NJ who relocate to Florida are the only people in the country who say sunshower?? What the fuck do all those red states say?? “Its raining while the sun is shining?” Kind of a mouthful, idiots. Either way I’m officially converting to Mississippi and Alabama. Didn’t know the Devil had a wife but when he beats her she cries when the sun is out. Thats the new sunshower hotness.
How many people in America play tennis? Like 2,500 out of 300,000,000. Meanwhile, how many people out there sneak around and need their shoes to be soft and quiet? Probably all 300,000,000. Majority rules. They are called sneakers.
Fuck everyone. Its Sear-up.
I say hero. I can get down with sub. But if you say hoagie or grinder, you’re essentially white trash. There’s no two ways about it.