Swimming In A Beer Swimming Pool Inside A Castle Sounds Gross But I Definitely Still Need To Do It

Thrillist - Presenting the one place in the world where it’s not girly to take a bubble bath: the centuries-old Austrian brewery Starkenberger, who’ve built the world’s first-ever beer swimming pools in the recesses of their brew-castle, and, for a paltry fee, you can take a dip. Here’s the skinny: Located a few hours outside Munich, the setting for the Starkenberger Brewery castle is pretty ridonkulous, though, with the glory that’s awaiting for you inside, you probably won’t want to spend too much time out there. Residing in the old fermentation brewery, there are seven total pools in a Turkish-bath-like room, each of which are heated and contain 12,000L of water enriched with 300L Biergeläger (remote yeast). Fun fact: ever since the days of ancient Egypt when Cleopatra bathed in beer while Mark Anthony was off conquering empires, beer bath’s have been rumored to have a healing, restorative effect. You’ve gotta make reservations in advance but for $298/ pool (and an additional $6.50/ person) this could be you sharing a beer pool with blonde coeds. Your two hours of beer bathing also come with beer crackers and a “Tyrolean meat spread” plus one non-swimmed-in bottle of suds per person; because actually drinking the pool beer would be insane… right??

If I take a bath in beer it better be a giant tub of the finest Bud Light the world has to offer. I’m not one of these craft beer, microbrew losers on their high horse about the quality of my beer when I’m drinking it, so I sure as fuck ain’t gonna be one when I’m bathing in it. Superior Drinkability and Superior Bathability. Thats what I’m all about when I’m taking my beer bath. Its gotta be pretty tempting to just take big gulps of your beer water but considering you’ll most likely be sitting in there with dudes ballsacks and armpits and assholes all up in that beer its probably not the best idea. Not to mention you’ll all obviously be pissing in your beer tub. We all know that purple cloud stuff that detects pee in the pool is all a myth and in this situation the water is already that yellowish color. Piss in the beer pool for days.

Maybe I’d bath in like Natty and drink and Bud Light on the side? Perhaps Keystone? Maybe I’ll put on a t shirt and swim around with a bunch of black guys in a tub full of Colt 45? Put my jeans on and swim with a crew of Mexicans in Corona? All sorts of possibilities for the beer bath. But I think I’ll just stick with old faithful.