SUNY Cortland Wins Its 4th Straight Cortaca Jug, Full Blown Riots Ensue
I will be absolutely perfectly honest with you…I didn’t even know Cortaca was about football. I thought it was just a random weekend where the schools came together and partied their dicks and pussies off almost like a Spring Weekend but in the fall. Turns out there’s actually a reason for this madness and it happens to be a showdown for the Cortaca Jug. SUNY Cortland won its 4th straight this weekend, and to say the Red Dragons celebrated the victory would be the understatement of the century.
There were flipped over cars and people fucking in public. Televisions filled with beer cans and people jumping off of roofs. Girls bleeding from their ears and fucking guys walking around with goddam axes. It sounded like the rumble in Anchorman. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone got stabbed with a trident at SUNY Cortland this weekend. I mean shit escalated really fucking fast. But its really no surprise. Thats just how SUNY Cortland rolls. They churn out Barstool NY smokeshows, they win Cortaca Jugs, and they party their state school faces off.
Maybe those liberal arts hippies over at Ithaca can step their shit up next year. Nobody likes to lose the Cortaca Cup 5 times in a row.
Shout out to @SUNYPartyStory for the pictures. Some great pictures detailing the debauchery of the State Universities of New York