Telegraph – Dr David Weeks, former head of old age psychology at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, said people need to be aware of the benefits of having a healthy sex life, particularly in their later years. He said sex has a number of health benefits which can make men and women look between five and seven years younger which includes; it causes the release of endorphins, the ‘feel good’ chemical which acts as a natural painkiller and reduces anxiety aiding sleep; exercise boosts circulation which is good for the heart; and it also causes the human growth hormone to be released which makes the skin look more elastic. Dr Weeks said: “My message is that lovemaking is good. “The stereotype of an elderly person is that when they get their pension and bus pass, they stop having sex and that’s not true. “Sexual satisfaction is a major contributor to quality of life, ranking at least as high as spiritual or religious commitment and other morale factors, so more positive attitudes towards mature sex should be vigorously promoted. “Sexuality is definitely not the prerogative of younger people and nor should it be.” The 59-year-old will tell a British Psychological Society conference today about his research, where he asked men and women questions about their sex lives. He found those who looked younger than their age claimed to have sex an average 50 per cent more – in the 40-to-50 age group equating to three times a week rather than twice.
You hear that ladies! Listen up! Forget about the wrinkle defying cream. Forget about facelifts and plastic surgery. You wanna look younger? Just fuck some dicks. Skip the facial at the spa and just get a facial at home. You’ll look 7 years younger in no time.
I suppose the most important part of this study is the distinction between “healthy sex” and “sexual satisfaction.” I’ll tell you right now, the shit that “satisfies” me probably ain’t considered “healthy.” And for chicks, having sex with someone like me 3 times a week ain’t gonna lead to much satisfaction either. So does laying there faking orgasms 3 times a week make your skin elastic and cut 5 years off your life? Is having missionary sex looking forward to jerking off to some Casting Couch considered “satisfaction?” I just don’t know, man. These are questions for Dr. Weeks, not me. All I know is that I’m certainly willing to test this shit out.
At least for now. No chance I’m gonna wanna fuck when I’m an old man. I know every guy out there will call me gay or some shit, but if you think I’m gonna wanna take my pants off and thrust around and gyrate and shit inside some old pussy, you are outside of your mind. Hard drugs for me in my Golden Years. That will be my satisfying activity.