So last night some two bit hack blogger from some small potatoes site decided to throw rocks at the throne. Stephen Glansberg over here calling out the Stoolies like some sorta square. Its been awhile since I had started up a little Twitter War so I figured, why not? I know its basically pointless with no name blogs – basically lets them troll me and get the attention and exposure they want.
But I can’t help myself. When I see someone call out anyone who follows Barstool, I can’t help it. Because its just so overwhelmingly ironic considering literally anyone who reads his shit would follow us. “If you’re following someone from Barstool” like thats some sort of small, unique sect of the population. Basically being like “If you’re between the ages of 18 and 55 and like funny shit and sports you should leave Earth.” Anyway, I don’t care about a no name calling me out, but when he calls out the Stoolies, I had to release the hounds. Let slip the dogs of war. Don’t you know we basically ended a Third World Country bro? Again, at the end of the day I know this is the exact exposure he’s looking for, but I’ll gladly give some dickhead 20 followers in exchange for the entertainment that unfolded last night. Follow along @KFCBarstool as this continues throughout the day…
Started out with some good old mom and dad jokes:
And then shit took a turn to crazytown. Straight up Stoolieville. The overwhelming angle most Stoolies took involved Stephen Douglas’ habits surrounding his dick/peeing/showering:
Ain’t that some shit? Everyone out there took one look at this dude, his website, and his twitter and instantly knew when it came to showering and pissing, he was a fucking weirdo. And you know what? I wouldn’t be shocked if it was all correct. The wiping thing too. Dude looks like a dick wiper.
Then things just got plain mean:
But my favorite part of the whole saga was when the Stoolies found his Wedding Registry:
Thats really Stoolies in a nutshell. Call us out? Call out Barstool? Within 20 minutes we’ll have the world convinced you’re a dick wiper and we’ll make fun of you for your Country Cupboard Rooster Canisters. Of course Stoolies were able to dig up his wedding site and his wife on facebook but I’m a man of honor and would never bring an innocent women into the throes of a twitter war. This was about a man jealous of Stoolie loyalty who witnessed it first hand.
PS – Welcome to da terrordome with Mikey da Trillest’s photoshop