Scientists Invent Dress That Turns Transparent When Girls Become Aroused

Huff PoYou don’t get to choose whether this dress is revealing or not — your carnal instincts do. The ‘Intimacy 2.0′ dress, designed by Daan Roosegaarde, is getting a rise out of the fashion world because its opaque fabric becomes transparent when you get aroused. Finally, all the cards will be on the table. You’ll have your date saying, “Is your dress disappearing, or are you just happy to see me?” The already barely-there garment features ribbons of leather and opaque “e-foils,” which can detect the model’s heartbeat, the Daily Mail reports. “Intimacy 2.0 is a fashion project exploring the relation between intimacy and technology,” Roosegaarde said. “Technology is used here not merely functional but also as a tool to create intimacy as well as privacy on a direct, personal level which in our contemporary tech society is becoming increasingly important.”

Well its about fucking time. You know how long men and women have been wasting time dancing around each other because of mixed signals? You know how many times guys have gotten in trouble for thinking they had a green light when she was actually thinking, at the very best, it was a blinking red? Well lets just do away with all the confusion. Simple rules to live by here in the future of Fuck Dresses – if you can see your girls nipples through her dress, she wants to bang. Thats about as clear cut as it gets. You don’t sit there thinking “does she want me to kiss her or not?” “Should I invite her up to my place or not?” “Does she want my dick inside her pussy or not?” If you can see through her dress then she scientifically wants to fuck you.

And spare me with the argument that any number of emotions can make your heart rate spike and turn the dress transparent. Chicks are dumb. Sometimes they wanna bang dudes and they don’t even know it. They are the most fickle, emotionally confused creatures in all the land. So not only is this a good indicator for dudes, its good for chicks. Like “well I really didn’t think I should go home with him but I can see my nipples so I must actually wanna bang him. Its science talking.”

PS – Imagine if they made pants like this for dudes? I’d basically just cut to the chase and not wear pants at all. Or I’d be too cheap to buy the actual scientific pants so I’d just wear knockoff bootleg see-through plastic pants since they’d already be transparent 24 hours a day.

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