Remember That NYPD Cannibal Cop Who Planned To Cook And Eat 100 Women? He’s Blaming It All On Cameron Diaz’s Role In “The Mask”

NY Post – It’s all Cameron Diaz’s fault! Accused “cannibal cop” Gilberto Valle told a shrink that he’s “experienced erotic arousal…when imagining women being abducted and bound by others” since seeing the blonde beauty’s 1994 silver-screen debut when he was an adolescent, court papers reveal. That “pattern of arousal appears to have originated with a scene in the movie, ‘The Mask,’ in which Cameron Diaz pretends to be abducted and bound,” Valle’s defense lawyers said of the Jim Carrey vehicle. And while the 29-year-old Valle discovered Internet porn in high school “and was particularly interested in bondage websites,” the Manhattan federal court filing says his taste for cannibalism didn’t develop until college, when he found some porn DVDs that belonged to one of his roommates.  “It was this discovery that led Valle to darker fetish Web sites, including ‘Muki’s Kitchen,’ which was his gateway into cannibalism pornography,” public defenders Julia Gatto and Edward Zas wrote.

Look I don’t wanna exonerate a guy who planned to kidnap, murder, boil, and eat over 100 women. But any red blooded male between the ages of like 25 and 32 knows that Cameron Diaz’s role as Tina Carlyle in The Mask could make a man do just about anything. She’s an absolute knockout in that movie. Like a blonde Jessica Rabbit thats come to life. Long blonde hair, long tight dresses, curvy as fuck. In her older years she kinda became a manly broad with a butch haircut that satisfied Arod’s tranny fetish, but back in 94 she was absolutely spectacular. Along with Jennifer Love Hewitt in Heartbreakers, Cameron Diaz in The Mask is one of the hottest chicks ever.

Now when I say she could make a man do just about anything, I’m not lying. For me, personally, she made me want to masturbate furiously. I was at a fork in the road – one direction was “develop a bondage fetish, eventually ending up living the life of a homicidal cannibal” and the other direction was “I’m 9 years old with one of my first boners ever, as soon as I figure out how to take care of this thing, I’m never going to stop.” So basically Gilberto Valle went left and became a cop and ate human flesh and I went right and became a womanizer blogger addicted to internet porn. 2 very different life paths that all stemmed from one life altering event – Cameron Diaz in The Mask.

Comments Are Closed

- OR -

Enter your email address to reset your password.

Close
Login error messages.

Update your Username

Set your Password

IMPORTANT: On February 25th, 2017 we will be moving to a new login system, and at that time your password will be reset. If you wish to update it now, please do so using the form below.

Close