Reject Truck Driver Wins $338 Million Powerball Jackpot

NY Post – The sole jackpot-winning ticket in Saturday’s $338 million Powerball lottery was sold to a big-rig driver at a New Jersey Turnpike truck stop, according to a manager at the store. Isaiah DeVries, of Love’s Travel Stop in Bordentown, said the trucker excitedly called up the store yesterday and said his life had changed. “He’s sitting in his truck in Delaware,” DeVries told The Post last night. “He is trying to figure out what to do next.” Although Jersey state lottery officials would not name the winner — nor the store where the ticket was sold — DeVries says he verified with Powerball organizers that he did, in fact, sell the winning ticket. The truck driver’s ticket was the only one that matched all six numbers in the drawing — 17-29-31-52-53, plus the Powerball, 31 — making him the sole winner of the gigantic payout, the fourth-largest in the lottery game’s history. Lottery officials are set to reveal more about the jackpot in a press conference today, including, possibly, the identity of the mystery truck driver. A lump-sum payout for the Powerball jackpot would come to about $221 million.

Another day, another one of life’s rejects taking home $300 million. This guy was probably getting road head from a hooker he picked up on the Turnpike after doing speedballs at the rest stop. And of course now he walks away the sole winner of a $221 million lump sum pay out. Thats always how the Lottery Gods do it.

The question is, how much more of a reject do I need to become in order to become eligible to win Power Ball? Ordinarily its some toothless meth head who deals oxy who wins $250 mil. But at least this truck driver is gainfully employed. I can’t be that far off right? I think another few pounds and another couple years of trying to make a living video chatting with my friends and I should qualify as a big enough loser to win Power Ball. See thats what you idiots don’t realize. You all think I’m pathetic and have no future but this is really just all a lifelong commitment to one day being a sad enough person to win the lottery. When I win $300 mil and ride off into the sunset we’ll see who’s laughing then.

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