MTA Putting Subway Rats On Birth Control So They Stop Breeding

WSJ – Locked in endless struggle with the rodents that infest the subway, transit officials have tried poison and deadly traps. They’ve blocked rat-size pathways into tempting trash rooms and removed garbage cans from station platforms. Now, they’re ready to try birth control. Working with SenesTech Inc., the Metropolitan Transportation Authority is launching the first urban trial of a pest-control bait that induces permanent infertility in rats. The product has succeeded in rural environments, lowering rodent populations without harming other animals, crops or humans. In New York, however, the company faces a new and vexing challenge: Big-city rodents have developed more sophisticated palates than their country counterparts, who have been lured into switching from grains or other foods to the bait. “Rats in Laos, they like coconut. But the rats in Indonesia prefer fish flavor,” Loretta Mayer, co-founder of Arizona-based SenesTech, said of the regional variation in rat appetites. “You have to be very much one with the animal.” But winning overĀ rattus Norvegicus, the species common to New York, means making bait that’s more alluring than the pizza crusts, discarded Chinese takeout and cold French fries littering the subway system. It is a difficulty the company acknowledged in a grant application to the National Institutes of Health, which has put up more than $1 million to finance tests of its sterilizing product, ContraPest, in a metropolitan setting.

You know who’s the winner in this whole movement? All the male rats, thats who. You guys are gonna fuckingĀ love this. You can fuck almost any sewer rat you want and not have to worry about it. Literally. That rat from the G train you met in Brooklyn? You can fuck her raw and not even think twice. Legit you don’t even have to pull out anymore. You can cum inside every chick rat you fuck and never worry about getting them pregnant because guess what? All their food has been laced sterilization poison.

Maybe we should start doing this with human chicks. Don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancies ever again if all these girls are already exposed to birth control. Maybe we put it in the water supply and then get a microwave emitter and vaporize all the water like in Batman Begins. Bingo Bango every chick is automatically on “the pill” because the sterilization poison is in the air. Then all the rats and humans can do as much fucking as they want without worrying about pregnancies.

I’ll tell you whats scary – the fact that the MTA and the subway rats are ahead of the humans on this one.

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