Kristen Stewart Voted #1 In The Top 10 Least Sexy Actresses

Daily Mail- A spokesman for MenKind, who conducted the poll, said: ‘Our Oscars poll has been a fascinating insight into the minds of British men. It’s shown that sexiness is far more than appearance’. ‘They were turned off by volatile and moody actresses as well as ice queens. And they don’t want to see unhealthily skinny starlets on the big screen.’ The news will also be a blow for second placed Sex and the City star Sarah Jessica Parker, wild child Lindsay Lohan in third place and fourth placed Bond girl Denise Richards who has recently shed much of her body weight.  Kirsten Dunst also makes up the top five, while the top ranked British actress is Mischa Barton who is in sixth place. Other stars unfortunate enough to be named in the top ten surprisingly include Lucy Liu, Tilda Swinton and Uma Thurman.

1. Kristen Stewart
2. Sarah Jessica Parker
3. Lindsay Lohan
4. Denise Richards
5. Kirsten Dunst
6. Mischa Barton
7. Hilary Swank
8. Lucy Liu
9. Tilda Swinton
10. Uma Thurman

Now listen, I think Kristen Stewart is plain as fuck. Pale, skinny. Just “blech.” I think Sarah Jessica Parker looks more like a horse than fucking Seabiscuit does. #9 on the list, Tilda Swinton, is this broad in case you didn’t know:

That bitch looks like Conan O’Brien. So yes, I get it. Those chicks are ugly. Are they the least sexy women in Hollywood? For sure not. First of all, fucking Precious is an actress:

She looks like the lovechild of Biggie Smalls and Oprah. Secondly, the Fat Chick From Bridesmaids is an actress:

And thirdly the other Fat Chick from Bridesmaids is an actress too:

She looks like someone painted Precious white. So like I said, I don’t think Kristen Stewart or Sarah Jessica Parker are hot at all, but lets pump the brakes with that top ten list. For God’s sake Denise Richards is one of the sexiest chicks of all fucking time! I don’t know what these nancies over in the UK think “sexy” is but if you’ve ever seen the Wild Things Threesome you know that describing Denise Richards as “least sexy” is absolutely prohibited for the rest of time. I don’t care about personalities or talent. Sexy is sexy you gays.

PS – That Conan O’Brien chick is unspeakably ugly. Even including all the Fats from Hollywood, she’d still be near the top of the least sexy list.

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