NYDN- Razor blade giant Gilette has hired Kate Upton to shave men into shape. The 20-year-old blond beauty is one of the company’s sexy spokeswomen urging men to shave, and if they want a chance with Upton – just a facial trim won’t cut it. “I wouldn’t date a guy who had grooming problems,” said Upton. Upton shoots down the double standards about women needing to be hairless – She insists it’s “very important” for men to be spotless “down there.” “It says a lot about a man, their confidence, and how they like the way they look,” she adds in another promo. “And how they, you know, keep up with themselves.”
Alright Kate here’s the deal – you lose some lbs and fix your gum line. I’ll shave my balls and my back. Then we can get together and have skinny, hairless, gumless sex and we’ll put our past behind us.
I get emails about manscaping all the time. Half the emails are like “You’re a faggot if you trim!” and the other half are dudes who take it way to far and talking about taking a Bic to their ballsack. Now maybe this is just because I’d be a Sasquatch if I didn’t take care of my body hair, but I think you gotta be one huge fucking mess of a man if you let your shit grow wild. I wish I was one of those dudes that didn’t have to worry about it but if I don’t manscape I’d look like a Geico cave man. From the back of my neck down to my junk I’d be an Abominable Snowman. But that doesn’t mean I’m lathering up from head to toe and shaving myself down so I look like some sort of inside out cat. I just take an electric clipper and make sure I keep myself in check. Doesn’t make you gay if you manscape. Doesn’t make you any more manly if you don’t. I just think guys who wanna get head from girls like Kate Upton realize they gotta take care of the jungle.