Kate Upton Agrees To Go To The Prom With That Kid From Yesterday

Well this is the world we live in, folks. A world where everyone just gets whatever the fuck they want at all times. You wanna go to the prom with a SI Cover Model, just ask her! She has to say yes or otherwise she’s a bully! Can’t hurt feelings anymore! Doesn’t matter that he’s not a Marine serving his country. Doesn’t matter that he’s not sick and this is his dying wish. He’s just a pimple faced punk who wants to go to the prom with a plus size model. And in the event she says her schedule doesn’t work and she doesn’t go with him, someone will probably set up a kickstarter fundraiser for him or something. This little idiot is either gonna play hide the salami inside Kate Upton’s back fat or walk away with like 10 grand probably. Thats just how the world works right now. If the world pities you, you get shit. Pity is king.

And they’ll probably win Prom King and Queen too. A short pimple faced slug and a fat chick – King and Queen. The world has become so backwards I just don’t wanna live anymore. I feel like Channing Tatum in the remake of 21 Jump Street when all he wants to do is wear his book bag with one strap and beat up nerds and make fun of gays but the whole school is now backwards and all the cool kids are socially aware nerds and shit. Bring me back to the time when super models needed to be anorexic to earn our respect and dorks like Jake don’t go to the prom with anybody, let alone an SI Cover chick. Thats when the world was real life.


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