Introducing Hawaiian Shirt Bro From Fordham
Once in a blue moon a man so mysteriously awesome graces this planet that his existence deserves to be brought to the attention of the degenerate barstool bloggers. Hawaiian Shirt Bro is one of those men. This guy, no matter what the weather, wears cargo shorts and a hawaiian shirt. I’ve only personally been able to get one picture of this man among boys myself, but I’ve compiled a few photos from others who have witnessed him themselves. There is only one time he has been seen not wearing a hawaiian shirt and it was during winter storm Nemo. He was wearing a robe instead. When asked why he only wears such a specific attire everyday his response was “I have thick skin and only get cold when it rains, but I’m fine in the snow”. Is this guy the most carefree guy on the face of the planet? Or is he fooling the world by masking his insanity behind 2 hawaiian shirts and a few pairs of cargo shorts? Interested to hear your take.
Confused in the Bronx
These sorta things can always go 1 of 2 ways. First you got the potential that this kid is an absolute psychopath. There’s a chance he makes skinsuits out of other human beings. He may or may not end up chopping his roommate into pieces and cooking them on a George Foreman Grill. Eating fingers and toes along with his Raman Noodles on the top bunk.
The other possibility is that this dude is just ahead of his time as far as the Dad Wardrobe goes. This is Dad Wardrobe to a fucking T. Literally every day my father gets home from work, he puts this outfit on. My dad will often wear “swimming trunks,” as dads call them, instead of the cargo shorts. But the short sleeved button up Hawaiian shirt is a LOCK for my dad after work and on weekends during the summer. Its comfortable, in their minds its stylish. They’re happy as a clam in this get up.
Now in this case, the deciding factor here is that Hawaiian Fordham bro wears this gear 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That picture of him in the snow in the Bronx is downright hilarious. “I have thick skin and only get cold when it rains, but I’m fine in the snow” is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard. What are you, an elephant? Some sort of rhino? You got hippopotamus skin? You look like a perfectly nice dude, and I respect the shit out of the confidence in your style – but wearing shorts and Hawaiian shirts in the dead of winter telling people you have thick skin and your only weakness is the rain makes mean lean towards the first scenario, dude.
In either event – lets be friends. A) If you are a psychopath I don’t wanna be on your kill list and B) If you’re just in Dad Wardrobe Mode and just a nice guy I’d like to play some Magic: The Gathering with you.
UPDATE: On the treadmill!