Get Well Soon – Stoolie Edition
Been a rough week for you boy KFC. Kicked things off on Monday with a little spinal surgery. C5-C6 disc removal and fusion surgery. They go in through the front of your neck, pull a disc out, and fill in the hole with cadaver bones. You may remember the same procedure was done for a guy named Peyton Manning. Its basically an operation reserved for the greats. Hall of Fame Quarterbacks and Hall of Fame Smut Peddlers. Sometimes you need to take drastic measures to preserve and extend dominant careers and thats just what I did.
They say that a little tender, love, and care goes a long way in the recovery process. That, and about 3 dozen percocet pills. So I asked Stoolies to send me some love in the form of Get Well Soon emails. Send me positive energy and well wishes to help the body recover. Boy, did you guys rise to the occasion. I was really feeling the love all week. I felt like a kindergarten teacher getting artwork and cards from his students.
— Lunchlady Arms (@does_it_fit) September 19, 2013
Get better soon, man. Or dont. I dont really care.
Make sure you don’t let any of the Jewish doctors work on you or your’e fucked.
Enjoy hell, dick.
Next time cut vertical.
— Ian (@ianpfitzgerald) September 19, 2013
Lookin like shit man, don’t know what the cause was but if you sound like Lou holtz on kfcradio from now on then u might just want to shut it down.
You’re my idol don’t you go dying on me bro #prayforkfc
PS I don’t strive for someone too high because that would just be unrealistic so you’re my man.
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Thought I’d help you pay those hospital bills because there is no way in hell Portnoy springs for health care. You are welcome:
Sucks that you’re dying or got the new gonorrhea or whatever, but whatever you’ll live- unless you die cuz ya know you’d be dead. But what sucks more is j-mac 2 as a person. And your athletics skills.
KFC or Geto Boys Album Cover – US Weekly: Who wore it better:
I’m genuinely concerned for your health. You treat your body like a joke. Please start taking it more seriously. Also, you have single-handedly brought my racism level from mild to rather severe, and I don’t wanna be left alone in the trenches now.
Hope you’re not dead yet. I was thinking,since you’re basically on your death bed, can you post a pictureof your roommates tits? I think you should send them now because we all now you don’t have much time le
Get well soon. Or don’t, face it, you were basically a vegetable before the accident anyways.
This is how I’ve pictured you blogging for the past 2 years, so I’m not sure why you want get well wishes?
My god that picture of you is disgusting. My guess is that you had a heart attack after getting up from your couch. Get better you pudgy gayball midget. What an awful combination, how the fuck are you engaged?
Get well soon ya freak
I may almost be dead, but I still got it!
I’ll be back next week, full force.