Filipino Dude Gets In A Fight With His Cheating Wife, Chops Off His Own Dick

MANILA, Philippines – An allegedly mentally deranged man cut his own penis after a fight with his wife in Mandaue City, a local official said on Monday. Jun Suico, chairman of Barangay Tabok, said Federico Ilustrico, 46, a carpenter, cut his own penis using a shaving blade before noon on Sunday. Suico said that Ilustrico has been having several verbal tussles with his wife, whom she suspects of having a lover. He said that right after the couple’s fight, the man rushed to the back of their house and cut his own manhood with the blade. Suico added that based on initial investigations, the man initially used a knife but it failed to cut hiw penis. “Sinubukan nya yung kutsilyo kaso parang mapurol,” Suico said in a phone interview.  Suico said barangay officials rushed Ilustrico to a nearby hospital after being informed of the incident. He said, however, that the barangay officials and police authorities failed to find the carpenter’s penis.

Hey Frederico you really showed her! That slut was cheating on you with another guy? Fucking another guy in your own bed? Chop your cock off! That will teach her a lesson! She’ll come running back to you and your smooth dickless crotch now! Sluts have gotta realize there are consequences to their actions. You know that guy you already don’t care about that you’re totally disrespecting? He will not hesitate to chop off his own cock because you’re unfaithful. If thats not a deterrent I don’t know what is.

PS – Ordinarily I’d say this story is complete bullshit. There only like one outlet reporting it and theres that random gibberish foreign quote in the middle and everything just seems completely untrue. But we’re talking about the Philippines here. The Philippines is like Japan mixed with Mexico. Anything can happen there, man.