Federal Government Spending $1.5 Million To Study Why Lesbians Are Fat

(CNSNews.com) – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.” Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Mass., has received two grants administered by NIH’s Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) to study the relationship between sexual orientation and obesity. “Obesity is one of the most critical public health issues affecting the U.S. today,” the description of the grant reads. “Racial and socioeconomic disparities in the determinants, distribution, and consequences of obesity are receiving increasing attention.” “However, one area that is only beginning to be recognized is the striking interplay of gender and sexual orientation in obesity disparities,” it states. “It is now well-established that women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic, with  it continues. “In stark contrast, among men, heterosexual males have nearly double the risk of obesity compared to gay males.” The investigators say there has been “almost no” research devoted to this disparity, and they have set out to find the biological, psychological, and social factors behind it.

Hey government send your boy KFC a check for $1.5 million because I got the answer to your fat dykes riddle right here. To understand the Fat Lesbian, you must get inside the head of the Fat Lesbian. Ask yourself “why is this fatso a lesbian to begin with?” You see, the Fat Dyke epidemic is a “Chicken or the Egg” situation. Is she fat because she’s a lesbian? Or is she a lesbian because she’s fat? Professor KFC argues that its the latter. They don’t pick being lesbian. Men simply drive them to it. You’re fat and gross and we like to fuck girls that are skinny and hot so you have no other choice. You’ve been outcast from Straight-hood. You’ve been cut from our team. You’re an unrestricted free agent with a skillset that absolutely no straight franchise is interested in signing. If you ever wanna get laid again, you’re gonna have to scissor some ugly chicks.

So now you’ve “decided to become” a lesbian because nobody with a dick would fuck you. Who’s in your dating pool? About 99% of lesbians are probably in the same boat as you. So all you’ve got to choose from is other hippos rejected by the penis. But the thing is, you’ve both become such man-hating feminists, you’re ok with anything without a dick. Doesn’t matter that your girlfriend is a deuce and a half. As long as she’s not a straight man. So what do we have? We have a self-fulfilling prophecy of fat lesbians. Just a whole league of obese women who now have zero standards in their forced gay lives so everyone can be gross and get away with it. No motivation to be skinny and hot because he already have the one and only prerequisite to make your partner happy – no dick. Lesbians created out of fatness who simply don’t care about their fatness and in turn they cultivate an entire culture of heavy dykes.

So in conclusion, the answer to where fat lesbians can be summed up in two words that most straight men live by: “No Fatties.”

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