Huff Po – If you assault your roommate because he changed the radio station, eventually you’ll have to face the music. Police say Josue Rodriguez, 40, attacked his roommate with a machete because the roommate changed the radio station, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. Rodriguez was allegedly taking a shower in his Lake Worth home when he heard the radio station change. When he confronted his roommate, the man gave him a push. In response, cops say, Rodriguez grabbed a nearby machete and began whacking at his roommate, hitting him in the cheek. The roommate managed to get away and called 911. In the police cruiser, police say Rodriguez told them “I only had the machete because I was going to sleep in the woods for the night.”
Well anyone who keeps up with Barstool New York knows where I’m going on this one. Anytime you’re a grown man above the age of like 40 living with a roommate who’s not a chick, there is inevitably gonna be a run in involving some heavy violence. It could be the dude who killed his roommate for cooking the pork chops wrong. It could be the guy who stabbed his roommate for stinky feet. It could be the guy who chopped up his roommate and put him in the freezer because he wouldn’t shut up. The list goes on and on. Bottom line is when you find yourself 40 years old, 50 years old, 60 years old and you’re living with a platonic roommate, its because you’re a social misfit and a failure at life. You’re probably mentally unstable to some degree. So normal clashes that roommates at the age of 24 become big time violent affairs because 2 old dudes are so miserable with their terrible lives they’re just itching to hack someone with a machete.
This situation here is a toss up. On the one hand you can understand where Josue’s roommate thought it was fair game to change the radio. Josue was in the shower. There’s a chance he wasn’t even paying attention. On the other side though, you ever put your iPhone on when you’re showering to listen to some tunes and it shuffles to some awful fucking song? And your shower is ruined for the next 3 or 4 minutes because you’re too wet to get out and change the song so you just gotta sit there and endure a shitty song? Maybe thats what happened here. Maybe he was ready for a nice shower with great music and his roommate put on some shitty station and ruined his shower. Again, probably not worth hacking someone with a machete but I can see where thats gotta be annoying.
PS – “I was just going to sleep in the woods” is the best machete excuse of all time.