JANUARY 14--A video prankster was arrested last night for battery after he allegedly gave wedgies to a series of victims outside a Florida movie theater, police report. Charles Ross, 18, was busted on the misdemeanor charge after a male victim, 20, told cops that Ross grabbed him “by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard,” according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report. Investigators reported that Ross gave wedgies to several other victims, but that they “were too embarrassed to want to pursue charges.” In each instance, Ross “was filming the crime with a camera.” Seen in the adjacent mug shot, Ross is known to “create situations in order to harass and annoy people while filming it and then putting it on you tube,” noted deputies, who seized Ross’s camera as evidence. The wedgie footage was likely ticketed for Ross’s YouTube page, which includes dozens of videos showing the Bradenton resident accosting pedestrians, running around while only wearing an adult diaper, and antagonizing beachgoers. His most popular video, posted two weeks ago, has about 670,000 views.
Is getting a wedgie the most degrading thing that can happen to an average dude? I think it might be. Like I love that part in the report “victims were too embarrassed to pursue charges.” Yea no fucking kidding! Another man tore your underwear up your butthole. Short of a stint in prison thats the closest your ass can come to rape in the every day world. If I could keep that shit a secret, I’d take it to my fucking grave. I don’t care how many future wedgies I could prevent if I went to the police – I’m hiding my torn up ass crack and my internal shame until I die.
I say the top three most degrading things that can happen to another guy are:
3) Getting bitch slapped – If another dude slaps you in the face, he’s just taunting you like you’re a woman. I’d rather get sucker punched and knocked out cold than embarrassed by a bitch slap.
2) Getting spit in the face – This is probably the most literally degrading thing on the list. Loogie to the face isn’t painful or violent, but its easily the most disrespectful one person can do to another. To this day I still think John Hirschbeck has more self control than anyone alive from that time he took a Roberto Alomar loogie and didn’t even retaliate.
1) The Wedgie – Like I said, the spit to the face is the lowest level of disrespect. But the Wedgie is just downright humiliating. Like how do you even let this happen? How do you let another dude pick you up by your underwear and repeatedly yank and shake you so that your taint almost rips? I would murder a person with my bare hands before I let that happen. I could be outnumbered and undersized but I’d punch, kick, claw, bite eye gouge, low blow, fucking whatever it takes to make sure I protect my balls and my asshole from that degradation. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I knew some dude posted my Atomic Wedgie to his fucking youtube page.