Chinese Guy Arrested For Conducting An Exorcism On Girl's Vagina With His Penis

Global Times – A self-proclaimed “ghostbuster” was arrested in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province after he charged a young woman 20,000 yuan ($3,279) to exorcise the ghosts in her vagina with his penis. Police arrested Huang Jianjun on August 1 after the woman, A Xin, called police one day after having sex with Huang, reported the Southern Metropolis Daily. A Xin, a spice shop employee, consulted Huang after hearing he could advise her how to attract her boss, whom she had a crush on. The two agreed to meet at a hotel room, where Huang asked her to strip naked and lay on the bed for an examination. Huang then convinced A Xin to have intercourse after explaining that ghosts in her vagina are preventing her boss from falling in love with her – ghosts he could only catch with his penis. Huang explained that he had sacrificed his virginity for the exorcism. Huang later told authorities he had long lost the ability to have an erection due to diabetes.

Ok here’s the thing about this whole situation – I would most definitely not fuck a chick with pussy ghosts. However unlikely that may be, if I ever caught wind of an apparition living in your Honey Pot, I am not going anywhere near you. Plain and simple. There’s a lot of things I don’t fuck with. One of them is a possessed pussy. That shit is probably worse than herpes. Fuck some supernatural snatch and all the sudden you’ve got a ghost living in your dick for life. I don’t think even condoms can prevent that.

So if there’s even a slim chance you’ve got ghost puss, you should get that shit fixed. I don’t know whether you wanna call Egon, Winston, Ray and Peter or you wanna call Huang and his Proton Pack Penis, but that should be addressed immediately. I don’t care if it costs 20,000 yuan and you gotta let his dick snake your poltergeist pussy like its a goddam clogged sink. Sprinkle that slit with Holy Water or get the dad from Insidious to get lost up in that vagina. Stick Gandalf’s staff up in there. Just do what you gotta do to clear that house.

PS – I’m not sure which scam is better – telling the chick you need to fuck the ghosts out of her, or telling the police your Diabeetus dick can’t get hard once you’ve been caught fucking her. Both pure genius.