— Nicola Peate (@NicPeate) August 9, 2013
Huff Po – Talk about biting off more than you can chew. Nicola, 25, suffered a dislocated jaw while attempting to eat a triple-patty burger at a Liverpool, U.K., restaurant. According to the Guardian, she tried to laugh it off at first, but sought medical attention after the pain persisted. “I tried to eat it with a knife and fork and couldn’t. I couldn’t open my mouth fully,” she said in a U.K. Press Association release. “It felt like I had cramp in my tongue, then I started to get an ear ache and a headache. The next morning I woke up and felt really, really ill. The whole side of my head was hurting.” The culprit was a so-called “Kids in America” burger from the restaurant Almost Famous in Liverpool. The burger, apparently, was just too big for her mouth. Nicola has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a medical condition whereby her joints are hyper-flexible, unstable, and prone to dislocation, according to a Press Association release. She had her jaw put back into place by medics at Royal Liverpool university hospital.
Let me get this right – this chick has super flexible joints. Will open her mouth as wide as she can to take down meat. And loves big ass cheese burgers? Babe me and you will get along just fine. Like if Sera Elisabeth on GTA and her workout routines are my polar opposite, Nicola here is my soulmate. She is…my density.
Mostly because of the cheeseburger stuff though. The talk about you having flexible joints and being able to open wide was really just tough talk from me. You probably won’t need either of those talents if we got together. Probably just stick to missionary and you most certainly would not be dislocating your jaw with me. So basically I’m just asking you out for a cheeseburger.