NYDN – A randy robber was busted having sex with a headless mannequin after breaking into a Brazilian shopping mall. Astonishing surveillance footage shows the burglar tenderly propping the plastic dummy up against a wall. He then kisses its breasts and lies it down on the ground before carrying out a sex act. Once the deed is done, he is then seen nonchalantly zipping up his shorts and walking away. The alleged offender, who climbed into the mall and stole discount value clothes to swap for drugs, was arrested after returning and being recognised by staff. Mall manager Ricardo Carvalho told Folha De Jaragua that the incident was “strange”. “If such an individual is capable of committing an act like this, imagine if he broke into a house? He could do the same with a helpless person,” he added.
No joke this dude straight up romanced that mannequin. I mean that was more sensual and romantic than anything thats gone on in my bedroom within the past year. There was probably a better chance of that guy getting that plastic statue to orgasm than I have of making my future wife get off. He was kissing her and caressing her and shit. Sucking on those tits. Basically full blown foreplay. He was gentle. He was emotional. When he took his dick out and jerked off to the headless armless torso things got a little primal. That was definitely the aggressive portion of that session. But for the most part he was really mushy.