Brazilian Dwarf Soccer Team Absolutely Crushing It
Daily Mail – With his silky skills and eye for goal, 27-year-old Casemiro Ribeiro is every inch the Brazilian footballer – 39 inches to be precise. The tiny striker, known as ‘Wagner Love’, is the star player for the country’s top dwarf football team The Gigantes do Norte. But far from being a laughing stock, this talented group of ‘Ronald-tinios’ are beating teams almost twice their size and are even hoping to have a place at the World Cup. Ribeiro, from Belem, Para, said: ‘We just give the crowd what they want. We keep possession of the ball and score goals. ‘People are always surprised to see how good we are.’ They play on full-size pitches and use normal goals but are allowed to get on each other’s shoulders when forming a defensive wall. They are so good, their coach Max says most would play at the top level if they were taller. The smallest player is just 3ft 3in – less than half the size of Peter Crouch – but they claim to have all the flare of full-size samba boys. And, now, complete with superstar nicknames like Lucio and Robinho, they are attracting cheering crowds up to 30,000 strong across the country.
Are you not entertained! Is this not why you are here! Dwarf futbol, bitches. Midgets taking Brazil by storm. I have a steadfast rule in life. Above all other rules and laws:
Never underestimate dwarfs.
Dwarfs are resourceful son a bitches. They have an odd amount of Midget Strength, they are sneakily fast despite their stumpy legs, and they’ve obviously got a chip on their shoulders. Quickness, strength, and an internal fire to prove the world wrong is a big time recipe for success. Sometimes I wish I was a dwarf. I’d probably be more successful. I’d be so much more driven. Instead I’m just an average white man with nothing to show for it. The Ronald-tinios are selling out stadiums at 3 feet tall and I’m just trying to get people to give me one dollar a month for my stupid podcast. Half as tall as me, twice as successful.