Bill Clinton's Doodle Game Was Straight Fire

Mediate – In February, the Bush family’s personal emails were hacked by Guccifer, a hacker who uncovered photographs of former PresidentGeorge H. W. Bush in a hospital bed and George W. Bush’s oil paintings in the process. It seems Guccifer has struck again, this time targeting former President Bill Clinton and the Clinton Library. The hacker has reportedly uncovered doodles of Clinton drawing on what were, at the time, classified documents. Among the doodles is apparently a picture of a penis. The document uncovered is a briefing of the strategic measures the United States could take prior Clinton’s decision to intervene in the civil unrest associated with the collapse of Yugoslavia in the mid-1990s. The briefing is covered in sketches, including an American flag, a chef with a frying pan, and an erect phallus. The phallus appears next to the then-Sen. Bob Dole’s name, which some have speculated could be Clinton’s stream-of-consciousness reference to the Viagra commercials that the former GOP presidential nominee was featured in at the time.

Everyone’s got their go-to doodle. Pres has Pirate Dog:

This is my go-to doodle. In 7th grade this smoke Laura used to sit in front of me in math class and I would draw them for her:

Its not a surprise that she never hooked up with me. Because as evidenced by Slick Willie’s doodles here from back in the mid 90’s, real men don’t draw pictures of other dorky dudes. They draw manly stuff. Real men doodle fucking dragons attacking their enemies. They doodle American Flags. Even though I always thought it was a chick thing, apparently they practice their initials. And real men draw giant fucking cocks with flying drumsticks.

But what takes the cake for me is the UN chef. I know the Bob Dole Viagra Dick is gonna steal the show for most people here, but the UN Chef is infinitely funnier. Heres the fucking President of the United States. The Leader of the Free World. He’s reading a top secret document about the UN sanctions of the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (FRY). And all that comes to mind is a United Nations chef whipping up some stir fry. That is the very definition of zoning out. Slick was just day dreaming about UN chefs probably planning which cigar he was gonna fuck his interns with that night. I’m surprised there wasn’t a doodle of a Bill Clinton minotaur just cumming all over some teenage girl.