I’m gonna give it to you guys – the past few days have been really funny comments. I don’t know whether you guys are making an effort now to try and get recognized or if the stars just aligned for you demented retards, but the comments on the Honduras blogs and the GTAs this week were sometimes laugh out loud funny. I didn’t keep up with all the comments from earlier in the week but whatever. Heres the best of the week from Barstool New York Stoolies. We’ll start with a couple comments from last Friday:
Commenter – RexRyanWorkout – “From now until this 16 year old has to goto home room.” Home room was the absolute perfect word choice there.
Commenter – Himminy – “if i bottled up all the jizz from the times i masturbated to SI swimsuit edition from 1993-1997 i’d have at least 3-5 gallons.”
Commenter – Tommypickles – “I used to rub it out to Wild on E! in middle school all the time. Didn’t have my own computer yet and we were too poor to afford premium programming like HBO, so Real Sex and Cathouse were out of the question.”
Both of these comments are spot fucking on. Anyone who’s like 26-31 agrees with these wholeheartedly.
Commenter: Zinc – “This should finally shut bitches up about how painful giving birth is. If a fucking 9 yr old can do it, pretty sure I could handle it.” Preach! If a 9 year old girl living in poverty can go through pregnancy and birth, then white bitches from the First World with drugs and doctors and shit need to pipe down about their struggle
2. Best GTA Comments of the Week: Blog: “Guess That Ass: Leanna Bartlett”
Commenter – Romramone: “I hate my wife, I mean life. No, I meant my wife.”
Commenter – Septic Butt: “I’m gonna go home right now just to kick my wife in her ass. Then back to work.”
Commenter – Sugarchev: “If today was my last day on earth, I would like to spend it surrounded by my loving family. But just to be clear, while they are surrounding me, I’ll be holding my laptop, staring at this ass. Spending eternity in hell won’t be so bad if this is the last image I see.”
Sometimes I don’t think people understand the effect Guess That Ass has on Stoolies. I think it literally has inspired divorces. Definitely a little bit of domestic violence. To some men, Guess That Ass is literally the most important thing in the world.
1. Best KFC vs. Honduras Comments – Thursday and Friday the blog was predominately focused on Hondurasgate and Michelle Fields, the wacky reporter who was so grossly offended by my Honduras comments because she was half Hondo. Well I gotta tip my cap to the Stoolies – they had my back like never before. Absolutely eviscerated Michelle Field on twitter and in the comments section. Anybody who knows the Stool knows that commenters hate the fuck out of the Barstool bloggers and talk shit about them and their girlfriends and their families and every personal flaw they have. But the moment any outsider comes into the Barstool world and tries to bash the Stool, they rally behind us HARD. So anyway this Michelle Fields chick happens to look identical to a horse, so heres the best “Michelle Fields Looks Like A Horse” Comments:
Commenter – Jerrys Loose Ends – “That chick looks like a horse.” Short, and to the point Jerry
Commenter – GodHatesIslandersFans2 – “She’s probably offended because her horse family was eaten. She IS food in Honduras” I guess GodHatesIslanderFans1 was taken?
Commenter – ButtCheekMcGirk – “If that’s a horse get me a saddle.” No matter how much Stoolies hate a chick, they will pretty much always wanna fuck her
Commenter – PaulOrndorf: “Looks like she flosses with dock rope” – Best you-look-like-a-horse joke I’ve probably ever heard.
And a special comment that deserves its own recognition outside the top 5:
Commenter – RexRyansAFatClam – “Its hard to imagine how most of the morons who comment on this site were actually the fastest sperm of their herd at one point im time.” Amen to that, Rex. I can’t believe your derelicts have ever won anything in your lives.