Barstool New York Comments Of The Week Presented By Numero Two
Editor’s Note: By now everyone knows I have an internet crush on Numero Two. Dude is like the Albert Einstein of Internet Commenting. More often than not his comments go way over my head otherwise he’d be the undisputed king of Comments of the Week. I can put up a blog about guessing a mystery celebrity ass and somehow he’ll reference Napoleon and the Battle of Austerlitz. He’s read all the Game of Thrones novels. Twice. He’s the only commenter with the balls to come on KFC Radio and show his face. He’s Numero Two – and today he’s presenting you with a whole lotta tits. Without further ado...
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we all know why we are here so I won’t bore you with a lengthy preamble. As everyone’s favorite playwright (no, not neil) William Shakespeare once wrote, “Brevity is the soul of tit”, and so, without further ado, I present the Comments of the Week as told through boob GIFs.
10) Tweeter from Varsity Blues is a Stoolie.
Blog: West Village Waitress Tricked Into Doing Shrooms By Her Boss, Forced To Wait Tables While Tripping
Comment: “Usually when I ask a chick to close her eyes and open her mouth, she doesn’t remember to press charges on me. That’s probably the chloroform’s fault” ~ steviepopo
Rating: Water Boobs
9) So Close
Blog: Airline Hiring Only Skinny Stewardesses To Save Fuel
Comment:“This is bullshit….and a dangerous slope. All this will do is increase our society’s negative bias towards overweight woman and cause……sorry, I just couldn’t finish that with a straight face.” ~ mississippi
Rating: Hat Chick
8) Sometimes the Sittee wants to be the Sitter
Blog: Does This Look Like The Face Of A 425 Pound Man Arrested For Grabbing A 10-Year Old Boy’s Arm and Sniffing It?
Comment: “lot of surface area on that face for me to rest my sweet ass cheeks on” ~ gunnarstahl
Rating: Dutch Rudder Boobies
7) Still better than “Interior Decorator”
Blog: Wealthy Upper East Side Family Suing School for $415,000 After School Rigged Fund Raiser Forcing Them To Pay 50k For Finger Painting Class
Comment: “Socialite wife” is just the politically correct way of saying top tier cock sucker. Or long term escort” ~ the-kurgan
Rating: Classy Boobs
6) Nailed it.
Blog: Send Out The Smoke Patrol, George Zimmerman’s Defense Lawyer’s Daughter’s Instagram Edition
Comment: “So his daughter played Marlon Wayons character in White Chicks? Pretty cool” ~happyhustle
Rating: Dancing Boobies
5) It really does work (twice). Try it.
Blog: Guess That Ass (July 2)
Comment: “If you tilt your laptop screen far enough back you can see her nipples. I swear.” ~ playwithurcuc
Rating: Beltbuckle Cam Boobies
4) I think you get a free knife when you do.
Blog: KKK Uploads “A Show For White Kids” Featuring 10 Year Old Klansmen On Youtube
Comment: “It’s the bro show without the obesity and with a sense of purpose in life. Sign me up.” ~ vermont-stoolie
Rating: Big Nubian Boobies
3) Me either.
Blog: Price Is Right Doing An All Plinko Episode For The Game’s 30th Anniversary
Comment: “If ending up with 1500 bucks and my dick in my hand is wrong…I don’t want to be right.” ~norightdeserving
Rating: Bags of Sand Boobs
2) Scientists? Give me pr0n key
Blog: “Things Millennial Guys Love” Might Be The Worst List On The Internet
Comment: “Not gonna lie, wish i had a Porn key on my keyboard… would save me like 10 seconds wasted pulling up the site on my own” ~ cjd2052
Rating: Mesmerizing Boobies
1) I’m farring for you.
Blog: Chinese Couple Falls Through A Window To Their Deaths While Banging
Comment: “Rook out berow…” by leather-cheerio
Rating: ‘Merica Boobs
Have a great and safe weekend Stoolies.
PS- Remember Your Sunscreen
Remember Your Sunscreen!
h/t Boobs In Motion, Boobs In General, and Lyon