This Guy Broke Into A House, Hit Someone Over The Head With a Board, And Then Tried To Get a Rattlesnake To Bite And Kill Him

NBC 12 – An Arizona man is behind bars after trying to get a venomous snake to do his dirty work, but the snake wouldn’t bite. Deputies responded at 9:27 p.m. on July 23 after receiving reports of shots fired at a residence in the 1100 block of North Justice Drive in Oracle. According to a news release from the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office, 38-year-old Nathaniel Buck Harrison of Oracle was taken into custody after a brief standoff. Harrison allegedly came to the home uninvited and fired a handgun inside, telling the 53-year-old victim he was going to kill him, according to the release. Harrison allegedly assaulted the victim with a board and tried to get a rattlesnake that he had brought with him to bite the victim. Harrison told the victim he was going to “kill” him as he attempted to get a rattlesnake, which he brought with him to bite the victim, but the snake wouldn’t bite. Babeu also said this is the first case he knows of in which a venomous snake was used in an attempt to kill or injure someone.

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That’s some next level shit right there. You know how the FBI made Frank Abagnale work for them in the fraud department instead of sending him to jail? We need to do the same with this guy. Make him work in pre-crime or just put him in a room and have him come up with hypotheticals all day on how some crazy guys will try to kill people. Just give him a blank yellow legal pad and make him write 5 pages a day. Because anyone who brings a rattle snake with him to do the job is thinking on another level. Sure the snake didn’t finish the job, but that’s not the point. He’s the first guy to ever use a snake as a weapon. Think about what other shit this guy can come up with. We need him on our side, not theirs. We need him and his savage brain working with us not against us. That brain shouldn’t rot in jail.

PS: His ears are massive. Just massive. Once I noticed how big his ears are all I could think about was how bigs his ears are. Never trust a guy with jumbo dumbo ears. Learned that lesson a long time ago.