The Marlins Sooooo Got In The Nats Heads Last Night By Playing Fart Noises During Batting Practice

Oh shit, got emmmmmmmm. That totally worked, Miami Marlins. Fuck. Back to the drawing board for the Nats I suppose. Oh no, not fart noises during BP, might as well not show up for the game at all! Except oops, you’re the fucking Miami Marlins. 12 people show up to your games. Dead silence during BP and the ability to hear random farts from the old people shitting their diapers is about as close to a game simulation as you can get. It certainly didn’t take Bryce off his game as he launched two into orbit right in their flatulent faces.

And now we get a blogger’s dream today, a noon game. And Scherzer on the mound too. Hopefully more than a baker’s dozen fans will show up to see a perfect game.