MFK Tuesday in the DMV. Let’s not pretend like we know what we are doing here, because we don’t. Right now I feel like I was dropped in the middle of the jungle and they are telling me to find my way out. I don’t even know where to start. Scarlett is crazy hot. Almost unfair. Definitely unfair. Not to get mushy here, but Aimee and I are in love. And Blake Lively might be Perfect with a capital P. Marry one, fuck one, kill one.
Marry: Aimee. It’s not a coincidence we have the same birthday, it’s fate. And now we are married and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Fuck: Scarlett. She’s something special. The golden unicorn. Queefs fairy dust.
Kill: Blake I guess. I don’t know. I’m so lost in the aforementioned jungle, my head is spinning and I’m dying of dehydration and now I killed Blake Lively.