Today in the DMV, we are MFK’ing twins. We have the the WWE’s Bella twins, former Playboy playmates the Shannon twins, and America’s sweethearts the Olsen Twins. The Olsens are billionaires, but do you want to spend the rest of your life with those kooks? And they are the most boring of the bunch. The Shannon twins are trashy as all hell. Might be a good fuck if you are okay with the 50/50 chance your dick will dissolve upon contact with their vag juices. But at the same time, they are also likely to start scissoring each other halfway through. That’s a checkmark on the bucketlist right there. And the Bellas are in much better shape than you will ever be in. Is knowing they can kick your ass something you can live with? One of them is also fucking John Cena right now, who can end your life with his thumb.
Marry: Olsens. I think. I am either marrying or killing them. I’m thinking out loud here. I think they are the most marry-able, so I’ll do the money grab and spend my days doing lines of coke off bars of gold with them.
Fuck: Shannon Twins. I’m taking the risk of losing my dick. The chances are too high that they will start rubbing their sisterly snatches. You can’t pass up that chance, no way, no how.
Kill: Bella twins. Sorry girls. Enjoy hell.