Gawker - An aging shepherd who was confronted by a bear while walking through a raspberry field near his home lived to tell his tale despite being thrown off a cliff by the animal after the two came to blows. Octogenarian Yusuf Alchagirov of the tiny Russian republic of Kabardino-Balkaria initially attempted to stab the bear with his knife, but the beast swatted it away with ease. The 80-year-old then proceeded to Plan B: Headbutting and kicking the bear. This time, the animal swatted Alchagirov away, hurling him off a nearby cliff. Amazingly, the senior citizen survived the fall with only a few bruises and bite wounds, and four broken ribs. “I got off easy. It would have killed me if I’d chickened out,” Alchagirov told a local TV station. RIA Novosti reports that Alchagirov’s family “baked him three traditional pies to celebrate his survival.”
Russia does it again. Can’t even walk through a raspberry patch without a bear trying to steal your berries and maul you to death. However Mr. Bear messed with the wrong mother fucker. Guess he got his forgot he was in Russia. Has Mr. Bear not been watching the news? It was a scene out of Armageddon a few months ago, and the people barely even batted an eye. Bet that raspberry stealing asshole felt like such an idiot when old man Alchagirov saw him. Mr. Bear definitely froze up, fight or flight mode. If there’s one cardinal rule of Russia, it’s you don’t fuck with an old man’s raspberries. Or bang another dude. But mostly when you’re a bear, you respect the raspberry harvest. Day 1 stuff, idiot bear. Credit where credit is due for the bear absolutely Mufasa’ing him, but he just ate his pies and will back for round two, you better believe it. For sure they will be meeting outside of Spider Kellys in no time.