Good News: MoCo is Removing Strawberry Milk From School Cafeterias


Post - Come January, school cafeterias in Montgomery County will be missing the pinkest offering of the lunch line. Strawberry-flavored milk is on its way out. The drink is not as popular as chocolate milk and not as nutritious as plain milk, officials say. So at a time of growing concern about healthy foods for children, the pink milk has lost its place on refrigerated shelves in Maryland’s largest school system. “It’s the right thing to do,” said Marla R. Caplon, Montgomery’s director of food and nutrition services, who thought long and hard about the value of flavored milk and concluded amid parents’ concerns that she could no longer make the case for strawberry. “Milk is not naturally pink. There are artificial colors and there are preservatives in the milk, and in wanting to do the best for the kids, strawberry really isn’t necessary.” This is no small change. In a single-month snapshot of milk consumption, Montgomery’s students got 229,818 half-pints of strawberry milk in October — equivalent to 14,363 gallons — nearly 18 percent of all student milk servings. By comparison, unflavored milk accounted for 15 percent of the half-pints that month, and chocolate milk was an overwhelming crowd-pleaser: Students had more than 882,000 plastic bottles of chocolate milk, 67 percent of the total. With that kind of following, chocolate milk would be hard to eliminate, Caplon said. “We know that if flavored milk is eliminated, then fewer students will consume milk, and that is a concern,” she said, especially for older children, who she says are less likely to drink unflavored milk. “There are students that are going to be disappointed, but I believe that a student who would normally take strawberry milk will take chocolate milk.”

Fucking good. Strawberry milk is the lowest of the low of drinks humans can choose from. If you see a kid drinking strawberry milk, you report that kid immediately to the feds. Get them on some sort of watch list. Nothing good comes from a kid who voluntarily drinks strawberry milk over chocolate. That’s looney as the day is long. And this is just total domination by chocolate. They straight up admit chocolate isn’t great for the kids either, but what are you gonna do, get rid of chocolate milk? Not in a million years. Might as well set fire to the pledge of allegiance while you’re at.

It would be insane of me to talk about school drinks without giving my top 5 drinks to bring in a packed lunch to school.

5) Hi-C juice boxes. A bit for the poors, but still delicious. Plus, ecto cooler. What the fuck is an ecto cooler?


4) Hugs. Always needed a few, but are amazing. Also, was the go-to drink for after soccer games when the moms brought snacks.

3) Squeez It. Awesome commercials and a great drink.

2) Lunchables Cola. If you were lucky enough to have a lunchables, you were the bee’s knees and cat’s pajamas. The envy of the lunch table.

1) Kool Aid Bursts. Getting that little drop out of the cap was the funnest thing you could ever do that took 1.2 seconds.

missing the cut but still recieving votes: capri sun and sunny d. receiving no votes: mondos. fuck mondos.

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