Post - Come January, school cafeterias in Montgomery County will be missing the pinkest offering of the lunch line. Strawberry-flavored milk is on its way out. The drink is not as popular as chocolate milk and not as nutritious as plain milk, officials say. So at a time of growing concern about healthy foods for children, the pink milk has lost its place on refrigerated shelves in Maryland’s largest school system. “It’s the right thing to do,” said Marla R. Caplon, Montgomery’s director of food and nutrition services, who thought long and hard about the value of flavored milk and concluded amid parents’ concerns that she could no longer make the case for strawberry. “Milk is not naturally pink. There are artificial colors and there are preservatives in the milk, and in wanting to do the best for the kids, strawberry really isn’t necessary.” This is no small change. In a single-month snapshot of milk consumption, Montgomery’s students got 229,818 half-pints of strawberry milk in October — equivalent to 14,363 gallons — nearly 18 percent of all student milk servings. By comparison, unflavored milk accounted for 15 percent of the half-pints that month, and chocolate milk was an overwhelming crowd-pleaser: Students had more than 882,000 plastic bottles of chocolate milk, 67 percent of the total. With that kind of following, chocolate milk would be hard to eliminate, Caplon said. “We know that if flavored milk is eliminated, then fewer students will consume milk, and that is a concern,” she said, especially for older children, who she says are less likely to drink unflavored milk. “There are students that are going to be disappointed, but I believe that a student who would normally take strawberry milk will take chocolate milk.”
Fucking good. Strawberry milk is the lowest of the low of drinks humans can choose from. If you see a kid drinking strawberry milk, you report that kid immediately to the feds. Get them on some sort of watch list. Nothing good comes from a kid who voluntarily drinks strawberry milk over chocolate. That’s looney as the day is long. And this is just total domination by chocolate. They straight up admit chocolate isn’t great for the kids either, but what are you gonna do, get rid of chocolate milk? Not in a million years. Might as well set fire to the pledge of allegiance while you’re at.
It would be insane of me to talk about school drinks without giving my top 5 drinks to bring in a packed lunch to school.
5) Hi-C juice boxes. A bit for the poors, but still delicious. Plus, ecto cooler. What the fuck is an ecto cooler?
4) Hugs. Always needed a few, but are amazing. Also, was the go-to drink for after soccer games when the moms brought snacks.
3) Squeez It. Awesome commercials and a great drink.
2) Lunchables Cola. If you were lucky enough to have a lunchables, you were the bee’s knees and cat’s pajamas. The envy of the lunch table.
1) Kool Aid Bursts. Getting that little drop out of the cap was the funnest thing you could ever do that took 1.2 seconds.
missing the cut but still recieving votes: capri sun and sunny d. receiving no votes: mondos. fuck mondos.
capri sun citrus is da bomb yo
oh my god i think i’m having an aneurism between todays blogs and spamgate
Strawberry nesquick is so underrated
That diarrhea spaghetti looks appetizing compared to the shit strawberry milky
Renee’s pineapple box is da bomb yo
how does chocolate milk not even get a mention here
Capri Sun or GTFO Nate
Cool Aid Burst FTW, sunny D should get an honorable mention
capri sun or GTFO
horrible list no capri suns or sipps GTFO
List doesn’t count if Capri Sun isn’t #1
Can we talk about the number 1 most overrated lunch drink of all time? Mother fuckin Capri Sun. Fuck yo pouch.
Nate, you suck balls. I knew it was one of your blogs.
really ain’t gonna slap yoohoo on the list, fucked up bro fucked up
Capri sub pacific cooler or gtfo
Leaving off capri sun, wild cherry specifically, destroys any credibility this list could have.
Nates a paraplegic guys
Sun Cups of GTFO
yoo hoo. seriously.
Sex is the funnest thing I can ever do in 1.2 seconds.
capri sun is the winner…and turning it upside down and sticking the straw through the bottom was the trick of all tricks…got to hold so many girls hands after I busted that move out in the cafeteria for the first time
Now they have coconut water and other healthy alternatives. Must suck to be a kid this dayonaisse
squeeze it was a FUCKING CLASSIC…..kinda related….remember JOLT Cola? fuckin stuff was cocaine for kids
no sunny d? god dammit nate just when your future at barstool was beginning to brighten
Nate brought a lunch box to high school
Good old fashioned juicy juice deserves a spot.
in college and still pound down capri suns #barstoolconfessions
The commercial looks like little kids holding throbbing penises you weirdo
natural light or gtfo
do you even nesquick bro?
Goddam stool is desperate with all these nostalgia blogs
8 oz arizona ice teas or those mini apple juices
came here just to see if you had chocolate milk as number one. you don’t, all farce.
if you aren’t drinking chocolate milk with lunch then you aren’t doing lunch right
This is quite frankly one of the worst blogs yet. Strawberry milk and Oreo cookies. Go have some after a long day. It will change your world.
Ecto Cooler is king
Hi-c fruit punch
strawberry milk is for the blacks
HOW THE FUCK IS YOOHOO NOT ON THE LIST!!!
kool aid bursts, just because they became ruthless water cannons if you were at the pool
Nate really lost a lot of credibility after we found out what his voice sounded like. That being said, fuck strawberry milk
In 4th grade me and my boy branded ourselves with melted Kool-Aid Bursts caps. Still got a small scar on my calf that looks like a face. Kids are smart.
Why the fuck is barstool turning into buzzfeed
I vividly remember crushing cans of Surge and then waxing that ass in butts up.
Those kool aid bursts that had the little dissolvable pill to change color were the shit.
A little disappointed Nate, I didn’t see you as a soccer fairy
Puked strawberry milk in kindergarten. It’s kind of my claim to fame and the one thing that everybody from that class still remembers (most of us ended up friends into high school). Haven’t had it since
fuck you, i’m buying strawberry milk as soon as i get out of this cubicle.
KOOL-AID BURST IS A RIP OFF OF MONDO!!!!!!!
capri sun pacific cooler you fucking terrorist
First they came for the strawberry milk. But we didn’t complain because we weren’t one of them. Then they came for the chocolate milk — because nobody complained about the strawberry milk being taken away…\
Remind you folk of anything?
yeh that’s right — fucking liberals gnawing away at the edges of America.
Why did they never make vanilla milk? I mean I’m sure somebody does but it was never a mainstream thing. Fuck chocolate only good chocolate is snickers. Chocolate ice cream is disgusting
At the Decemberist. They did, it is called egg nogg and it freakin awesome with rum. Much better than nig nog (chocolate milk).
@John Smith I make $89.00/hr going to wotk at the office but I use Oracle RDBMS skills not google. Step it up loser. I’m not about to take a pay cut.
how does one blog for barstool and not know sloane from entourage?
And get the fuck outta here, Sipps iced tea was the shit. Whatre you fucking 14 years old Nate?
If you ate Lunchables, you were also a J double O
Sipps ice tea. N fuck off for saying for the poors. you’re a blogger. You’re not rich. And if your dad is it means you’re just a puss. Which is obvious after seeing and hearing you talk. Also rg3 sucks
Seriously, I feel like I’m the only one in the world that remembers Mondos.
I like strawberry milk, Nate.
Capri sun is no doubt number 2, lost some respect for ya here Eric
I’m team sipps Iced tea all day everyday. That and a chicken cutlet sandwich. Best lunch ever as a kid.
A couple of buddies and I took a couple of beers to lunch wrapped in foil like they were cokes we were keeping cold from time to time. Just pulled the foil off the top and the lunchroom monitors never knew.
If liking Strawberry Milk is gay, strap me on a skirt and call me Elton John
Nate don’t talk shit about strawberry milk when you sound like the type of guy who drinks soy
remember when capri sun came out with those tops you could stick the straw through instead of that stupid little piece of shit hole in the front? huge day for kids everywhere
Coffee milk … Learn it live it love it
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