Just real quick. Swiss cheese, criminally underrated by the cheese community. I never even touched it until my college years because why would I want cheese with all sorts of holes in it? Seemed like a travesty of cheese. But I’ve been eating more and more Swiss cheese recently, and at the current moment, it’s my 1 seed. Sits atop my cheese kingdom, ruling all the other cheeses. I’m not just putting Swiss on sandwiches, but putting it on burgers. 2 years ago I’d offer to cut off my thumb before putting swiss cheese anywhere in the vicinity of my burger. Didn’t even want it in the same zip code and now I’m making special orders for it. Swiss here, swiss there. Like it, love it, gotta have it. Swiss cheese.
Cheese Power Rankings:
no just kidding, that’s gross. Fuck cottage cheese. Lumpy shit, get it away from me.
And I feel there are so many cheeses I’ve yet to even try. Kinda like how we’ve only seen like 1% of the ocean or whatever it is, I think I’ve only had 1% of the cheeses. What if there’s another cheese out there I love and I don’t even know about it? It’s haunting me.
Provolone or GTFO
I bet you like it cause you can stick your dick in it…Am I right or am I right?
Fucking gross bro. Cheddar is the king. So many applications.
Blue Cheese or sit on a ski pole
Philly sharp prov leads the charge for me but I can get down with some swiss.
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Fuck Swiss, shits nasty
Thank Christ was just talking to a co-worker when we both wondered what type of cheese you favored
American cheese you fucking heathen
fuck swiss cheese, sharp cheddar for days
When it can double as a flesh light how could it not be, Nate.
the fuck is american cheese at you communist dwarf?!
ha, youre the guy thats been asking chicks to jack him off with cheese
Are we counting Brie or is that too fancy?!?!? This question is important!
You and that dude who likes to rub it on his coin purse while driving
Swiss is the fucking best. That and 3-Cheese Colby PepperJack when you want the spice
You actually sound like your as poor as Smitty if this is your cheese power rating.
Pepper jack or kick rocks
Great sports blog.
Nate puts the holes in swiss cheese with his pecker
I once got to stay home from school by packing my ass crack with cottage cheese. Just said I had the runs.
CHEEEEEEEEESEEEEEE, yah its the Dean now.
2) Vaginal cheese
Nate, you couldn’t be more spot on. You’ve only tried 1% of all cheeses while dumb-ass me has read only 1% of all the bloggers out there. I think its time for a change.
Zollo only eats fat free cheeses
Swiss cheese was invented 1,000 BC and it’s now “flying up your cheese power rankings”. Seriously shut up dude
muenster cheese is so underrated
Nate where is your rich dick picture? Just put on a piece of human flesh that’s hanging in your closet and find a pair of sunglasses and your good to go.
you are a psychopath if you dont enjoy a nice roquefort
@scoop wouldnt eat brie in public but its definitely a closet favorite.
Mushroom Swiss Burger is literally on every restaurant menu in this great country.
@animalman why wouldnt you eat brie in public?
Fresh muzzadel or GTFO
You have a sophisticated palate for a Kremlin
Different cheese for different shit. Know how to fucking eat dude
1. Nacho Cheese
2. Everything else
Might as well rename the blog Top 5 poor people cheeses
@wilburham same reason i wouldnt admit to crying at the end of marley and me.
AT NIGHT I STICK MOTHERFUCKING PROVOLONE IN MY SOCKS SO THEY’LL SMELL LIKE YOUR SISTER’S CROTCH IN THE MORNING
The answer is Gouda you fucking cocksock.
You just get it you depraved bastard. Except for swiss in number one
@animalman still not understanding is brie suppose to be for chicks or something?
Provolone is obviously king but the fact that you dont have american even in the top 5 is a travesty. Not that ore packaged garbage tho, gotta be wegmans white american.
Nate, you’re a fucking wierdo
Munster or bust, you fucking non cultured animal!
So we’ve gone from pornstar rankings to cheese rankings today. I can’t tell if this is good or bad
@paulywalnuts American cheese is awful
@wilburham not exactly very manly. You don’t picture a dude with hair on his chest chopping down wood and eating brie.
I knew you were a fucking mouse
Blue cheese with buffalo chicken
As a chef I’m appalled by your cheese rankings. Do yourself a favor and check out a local cheese shop. Hell, even whole foods and trader joes have a decent selection of cheese.
Goat cheese never gets any love
Brie is fucking delicious. Or a nice Irish Whiskey cheese. Goat cheese possibly the most underrated addition to any meal, ever.
The fact that there’s no Muenster on your list is an outright travesty.
Aged Smoked Cheddar
we aren’t animals we live in a society
@wilburham: You actually have very good taste in cheese.
Muenster cheese would rape Swiss cheese if Swiss ever grew a set big enough to step into the ring with Muenster.
@rockets sheep cheese no love
Gruyere is the best cheese you’re never heard of.
But its true, bacon and swiss on burgers is tits on tits on tits.
cant go wrong with some triscuits and some extra sharp cheddar cheese
Nate’s the Swiss cheese pervert runnin around Philly
@jack – smoked cheese is the most overrated thing of all time.
Gorgonzola stuffed olives in a stiff Martini. Done
whoever down voted Port Salut has never had it
Mimolette. Now it’s banned for some reason.
to pick just 5 cheeses is practically impossible, there are cheeses you put on sandwiches, some you put on crackers, some you grate and put on pasta, etc…you would prob need to make a list of about 50…
I am amazed you dont have dick cheese somewhere in there
2) Tomme de Savoie
3) Brie de Meaux
no love for cream?
Your a weirdo
My 2 yr old son just said this yesterday: ‘Gouda is good for Owen and daddy.’ He also likes dill Havarti and brie, so he has a bit of a refined pallet for a 2 yr old.
Fuck the people who voted down Nacho Cheese…. you can put it on nearly everything…. Breakfast, lunch, dinner…. On corned beef hash.. eggs, burgers, fries, hot dogs, popcorn. Bunch of fucking communists on this site.
swiss all day
@5minutemajor just revealed that he is over 40.
Hof buffalo wing cheddar and steakhouse onion
Munster all fuckin day
Rest are garbage.
@kennyg just revealed his is 12.
Nate: PIC. Cheese Raper….
Grow up Nate, you poor, uncivilized brute. Eat some fucking Brie. Live a little.
American cheese is for hobos
“It’s like you’re dreamin’ about Gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly Brie Time, baby! Step into my office….CUZ YOU’RE FUCKIN’ FIRED!!!”
Also, if you’re not eating garlic bread dipped in melted Gorgonzola and Alouette, you’re living life all wrong.
All aboard the manchego train chooooo choooooo
GTFO with your Swiss Cheese bullshit. Munster, Mozzarella, Provolone, Manchego, Jarlsberg, Ricotta, Colby, Jack, are all 1000x better and I could keep going. Swiss not even on my radar.
Shredded swiss with chopped portabello mushroom mixed into hamburger meat… you’re welcome.
Nate you creepy son of a bitch you’ve done it again! Pepperjack though for real. Swiss cannot be number 1, it’s a role player cheese, it knows it’s place, doesn’t try to do too much. It’s the Chris Anderson of cheeses.
@somehockeyguy ur son sounds like a gay
Parmesan you idiot!!!!
I am swiss and I can assure you guys that the crap that’s labeled swiss cheese in the states is NOT real swiss cheese! nobody over here would eat that crap
Best blog you’ve ever written
I fucking hate swiss cheese
Muenster is up there…and why isn’t big cat posting on this being the closest to Wisconsin…not the fucking dmv…and Iowa is pretty close but Iowa doesn’t count yet
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