Late Breaking News: Swiss Cheese is FLYING Up My Cheese Power Rankings


Just real quick. Swiss cheese, criminally underrated by the cheese community. I never even touched it until my college years because why would I want cheese with all sorts of holes in it? Seemed like a travesty of cheese. But I’ve been eating more and more Swiss cheese recently, and at the current moment, it’s my 1 seed. Sits atop my cheese kingdom, ruling all the other cheeses. I’m not just putting Swiss on sandwiches, but putting it on burgers. 2 years ago I’d offer to cut off my thumb before putting swiss cheese anywhere in the vicinity of my burger. Didn’t even want it in the same zip code and now I’m making special orders for it. Swiss here, swiss there. Like it, love it, gotta have it. Swiss cheese.

Cheese Power Rankings:

1) Swiss
2) Pepperjack
3) Cheddar
4) Provolone
5) Cottage

no just kidding, that’s gross. Fuck cottage cheese. Lumpy shit, get it away from me.

5) Mozzerella

And I feel there are so many cheeses I’ve yet to even try. Kinda like how we’ve only seen like 1% of the ocean or whatever it is, I think I’ve only had 1% of the cheeses. What if there’s another cheese out there I love and I don’t even know about it? It’s haunting me.

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