If David Price is Worth 31 Million Dollars a Year, I Can Only Imagine How Much Bryce Will Be Worth In 3 Years...500 Million? A Billion?

We all know the Sox just overpaid for David Price. Someone was going to do it, and the Sox pulled the trigger. 31 million dollars a year. Think about that. 31 million per year. To pitch every 5 days. It’s unreal money. You know how you get paid and you’re like “fuck yea, I’m rich bitch!” and then you’re poor again after the weekend? Imagine cashing a few paychecks of a 31 million dollar a year contract. I’d be dead after 2 weeks.

But anyway, that’s neither here nor there. The real question is if 30 year old David Price and his postseason record of 0-7 with a 5.27 ERA is worth 31 million per year…what will Bryce Harper be worth in 3 seasons when he hits free agency? He’ll be a still freakishly young 26 years old, probably just hitting his prime, with 7 years of experience behind him…can you imagine? We might be talking 10 years, 500 million. Would not shock me in the least. An everyday player, 26 years old, best to play the game, with Boras as his agent, 50 mil per year is not out of the realm of possibility. Shit, 20 years, 1 billion dollars kinda makes sense too. Opt out clause after 15 years, who fucking knows. It’s going to be completely insane money.

And yes, people are tweeting me asking what I think his chances are of staying in DC. I’ve said it in a couple blogs, and I’ll put it here- it wouldn’t shock me if he goes somewhere else, most likely the Yankees. He hasn’t exactly hidden the fact he wants to play in New York. Now, the Nats do have deep pockets just like the Yankees, so if the Nats can offer him the same or more, maybe he’ll decide he wants to be a lifelong Nat. He likes baseball history, he respects guys who stay on one team for a career, and he enjoys DC. But it’s dumb to think there’s not a chance he signs that monster deal for the Yanks, just gotta be realistic.

All I know is when it comes time for me to have children, I’m doing the China policy and throwing girls straight down the garbage disposal. Just grind them right up until a boy pops out. Tie his right hand behind his back and put a baseball in his left. There’s no other option anymore.