NBC Miami – Neighbors who were smoking crack together in the Florida Keys wound up behind bars after one started swinging a machete at the other, authorities said. The incident happened late Wednesday night when deputies responded to reports of a man swinging a machete at people on Point Pleasant Drive in Key Largo, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said. Deputies found a couple who claimed their neighbor, 53-year-old Antonio Motes-Diaz, had been swinging the machete. As the investigation continued, the couple admitted they had been drinking beer and smoking crack with Motes before the machete incident, authorities said. Motes claimed the couple became upset when he ran out of crack and said the woman spat on him and the man, identified as 26-year-old Christopher Stevens, had attacked him, authorities said. Motes said he grabbed a baseball bat and then a machete to “defend himself,” authorities said. Deputies charged Motes with aggravated assault. Stevens was arrested after he was found to be in possession of Alprazolam, a generic Xanax, without a prescription. Both Motes and Stevens were being held without bond Thursday, and it was unknown whether they have attorneys.
As the old mantra goes, the couple that smokes crack together, stays together. Such a cute couple, drinking beer and smoking crack. And how lucky of them their neighbor shares similar interests. Would love to be invited to their neighborhood picnic. Would be a doozy. Crack pipes next to the pulled pork, machetes in place of the cutlery. Now what happened here was the neighbor, Motes, ran out of crack. That’s a huge no-no. You can’t offer crack to your neighbors, and then run out. That’s ridiculous. It’s like your friend who you invite over but he brings 3 beers, and then offers you one. Uh, thanks man. Nice sixer minimum, light beer 12er is standard, anything more is a plus. You don’t want to be that guy who gets the machete pulled on your ass in Florida.