Allow Myself to Introduce…Myself

Hello Barstool Nation. I’m Francis. I know you guys wanted Ginge but Chaps put the fear of death in me not to go that way. For those of you who didn’t follow any of the Barstool Idol competition, I’m the new guy. Or am I? I’ll be honest– I don’t have a contract, I don’t know my salary, I have cancer but I don’t have healthcare. I’m just… here, enjoying Bagel Monday with no paycheck, like Milton from Office Space.



Hopefully when co-worker Dave arrives, I’ll get some answers. But for now, let’s take a look back on how I got here.

Last week was insane. It was the most public, exciting, humiliating, stressful “job interview” of my life. I woke up at 2AM every night sweating, mind racing, thinking of content and worrying I’d forget it if I didn’t write it down; I lost 6 pounds in 5 days, although that might just be the cancer; I burned the bridges back to my old job of tutoring kids, because parents aren’t thrilled to hire a guy who pours rum in his eyes. But the fact that I went through all of that without having a clue what the salary was, or knowing whether I’d get a real job, speaks volumes about what Barstool has become. This place is the coolest place on earth. For a 27-year-old comedian who wants to create stuff, the office is like a toy store, Neverland, and a stage all rolled into one. Want to make a video? Here’s a team of extremely talented videographers and editors who can turn it around in an hour. Idea for a podcast? Here’s a producer and a studio and a co-host. Write a blog about how hot my cousin is? Weird, but sure.

But the most important part of all of this is you guys– the Stoolies. It’s like I walked into some magical theatre that holds hundreds of thousands of loyal, diehard fans who are ready for a show. I am well aware that the loyalty is to Barstool, not me, and that I have to earn it. But I fully intend to present you guys with the funniest shit I can and represent this company well.

About me: I grew up in southern Maine, in a town called Freeport (home to LL Bean). Played sports which got me in to college, where I studied government and started doing standup my senior year. I then moved to New York to try comedy for real. With a few diversions, including the time I went to law school for 4 days (too hard), I’ve been performing and writing comedy for the last 5 years. When Barstool Idol came up, I sent office manager Brett an email, auditioned, and the rest is history.

I’ve been following barstool every day for about a decade, so as you can imagine, Friday was probably the best day of my life. I’m thrilled to get to work and I look forward to hearing from you guys. Please send all tips, ideas, or death threats to [email protected]


Follow me on Twitter @FrancisBarstool 


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