So yesterday we blogged the story about a 9th grade kid whose suing his old algebra teacher for basically begging him to lay the pipe in the middle of class. This is the main excerpt from the blog:
…hey kid, what the fuck is wrong with you? You were literally living the apex of every high schooler’s dream. In my 9th grade algebra class I literally would’ve let my teacher take her shoes off and slam her heels through my cerebral cortex and left me bleeding out like a vegetable instead of listen to her drone on about monomials and complex equations and shit. Meanwhile yours is pounding on your desk seeing if you want to lick her tits and maybe get a blow job after class. How awful!
I mean truth be told I just figured the kid was a poof since chicks always say gay dudes are smokebros and that he was fa-reaking out instead of handling the situation like a man by not putting his teacher on blast to the whole world.
Well the Stoolies did some digging and turns out this horn-dog 9th grade algebra teacher ain’t exactly a looker:
Yeah honey you’re getting sued. Big time. Like if I was a toothless trucker picking this broad up at a rest stop I’d peg her as a soft 2. Tops. More like a hard 1. But if I was a 9th grade kid all over again and this horse tried ruining my childhood and stealing my innocence I’d slam her upside the head with a lawsuit so fast it’d make her face explode. Open the phone book to the most Jewish name I could find, lawyer up and rip her life apart for all she’s worth and then some. $1 million? $5 million? $100 million? All in play. No amount of money could erase that memory.
PS – I blame “Hot for Teacher” for making me think this ball of skin was attractive. Literally didn’t even cross my mind that she wasn’t a David Lee Roth approved grade A piece of ass.