Barstool Sports

Football’s most embraced ethnic slur comes to town for another preseason tune up.

Last game in a sentence: A Cutler and Forte-less offense failed to do much of anything while a practically full first team defense did even less.

What we learned last week: From a game that was expected to have very little to get excited about, it delivered a thousand times over. Without Cutler the passing game of Jason Campbell Josh McCown and Matt Blanchard  gave us nothing to look at with the biggest offensive play being a 28 yard pass to Chris Summers. A running game without Forte saw 4 running backs give us a whopping 24 yards on the ground. Alshon Jeffrey had 4 meaningless catches if you’re into that kind of thing and Brandon Marshall caught his first of potentially many 4 yard completions.

Defensively, we saw Peyton Manning deliver the ball with ease on his first drive until Major Wright picked him in a “right place right time” interception and that is about all the defense mustered up on a disgusting night at Solider Field. Seemingly everyone Denver put under center or at half back had success moving the ball through a slow and uninterested front 7 while the secondary struggled containing a banal receiving core. If there was anything to raise an eye at it was Shea McClellin’s noticeable speed and disrupting abilities off the corner, albeit against Denver’s 2nd and 3rd string linemen.

What to look forward to: The fact that Cutler and Forte are expected to play a few series in this game gives us hope that someone might find the endzone this week but thats about it. Hopefully 1 or 2 of Cutler’s 8, if we’re lucky, pass attempts are thrown in Brandon Marshall’s direction so that we have something to stroke for another week until the season starts but don’t expect any Chuck Downfields in this one folks.

The defense can’t do much worse than they did last week so I expect a few more sluggish series with the first team and what might as well be a game of “Guess Who” in the 2nd half with an avalanche of completely mediocre backups. Look for McClellin to show off some of his skills but don’t go much farther.

I said in an earlier post that this is the 2nd straight week that I am more interested in the opposing team’s QB than I am on the storylines on both sides of the ball for the home team and my opinion hasn’t changed. This game could be very slim pickings.

Last Call: Overall, I am just not going to pretend that I am very excited to see any of these preseason games. The point of them are to stay healthy and to work off all the booze and party drugs the skill players have piled on during the offseason. I don’t expect much and I am rarely disappointed. I will like seeing Cutler and Forte healthy and back in Bears uniforms but I probably won’t like much else. Another game without a touchdown will get people talking and a bad defensive game will magnify the Urlacher situation even more intensely but nothing really matters until Sept. 9.

Unrelated News: I hear that Mongo is intending to run for the mayor of Romeoville. I thought about doing a separate blog on this but then I feared Mongo might think someone is actually giving him press and would keep running with this joke….

It has to be a joke right? I mean dude can’t even sidewalk slam Sting, who the fuck would let him run a city?

@ChiStoolSpataro